Dream Feeling

I am sitting at work and keep looking at my son's picture.  I am smiling and thinking "of course I couldn't keep him, he's too perfect, too beautiful."  He seems like a dream to me, so does my whole pregnancy.  I am thinking of my son as someone that exists but I can't reach.  I don't really like this analogy, but maybe like a celebrity.  Am I going crazy?  I don't feel like he was really mine, that perfect little boy could not have come out of me.  Does anyone else have feelings like this sometimes?