Dream

I had a dream.   Yesterday in real life I took a bunch of donations over to the church I have been going to.  Met three ladies I had not met yet and got invited to a quilting group, but I don't quilt.   It was my youngest son's birthday, but he barely spoke to me all day, nothing unusual there though.  A friend of my middle son had his baby kidnapped by his soon to be ex wife.  I spent the day alone for I have no friends left anymore.  Eating half the house as I was restless and feeling a little bit blue.

Today I am having a full on blue day complete with anxiety attacks.  I woke up this way because of the dream

In my dream I was at church.  My husband handed me a giant friend shrimp from the day before and a coupon to a place we don't go.  I told him in a not friendly tone of voice he should throw them out not give them to me.  The lady next to me told me I wasn't very nice to my husband and should be.  Then they decided to baptize people and I got up to go with them.  There were 4 of us that went into the tank.  We sank to the bottom and then came back up.  The other three people got out dripping all over, but I was completely dry.  The baptismal water did not touch me.   Even God chose to reject me.

I know it was a dream, but it has affected me deeply today and I cannot get that horrible feeling out of my soul.  It didn't help that I see my sister in law is in town for a business trip and didn't let me know.  Why would she.  She doesn't want to see me either.  My daugher in law rejected an offer of help to move a tree yesterday.  Guess she doesn't want to see me either.

Today is going to be bad.  May God please have mercy on me and send me some kind of sign he still loves me.  Because I know no one else does.