Dreading November
Having melt downs at work for the past week. November 1 is opening weekend of deer hunting season. My husband and I always looked forward to opening weekend. Him for the hunting and me for the "me time" while he was gone. Now I have all of the "me time" in the world and I don't know what to do with my self.
Nov 8th is my birthday. I told a co-worker that it was going to be a depressing day for me and she said "why"?. I said 'because my husband will not be there" (stupid). She said "that is silly, its your birthday, not his. That shouldn't make you depressed." I wanted to climb over the desk and attack her, but I attacked her with words instead and then I cried for an hour. Stupid insensitive B____T!
My step daughter stopped by my work today and I told her I was going to start packing up his clothes and I lost it again. Maybe I am not ready to pack them away yet. I know I am not ready to get rid of them, but I thought I was ready to pack them away.
Oct has been a bad month and I am dreading to see what November brings. Too many firsts in Nov.
Nov 8th is my birthday. I told a co-worker that it was going to be a depressing day for me and she said "why"?. I said 'because my husband will not be there" (stupid). She said "that is silly, its your birthday, not his. That shouldn't make you depressed." I wanted to climb over the desk and attack her, but I attacked her with words instead and then I cried for an hour. Stupid insensitive B____T!
My step daughter stopped by my work today and I told her I was going to start packing up his clothes and I lost it again. Maybe I am not ready to pack them away yet. I know I am not ready to get rid of them, but I thought I was ready to pack them away.
Oct has been a bad month and I am dreading to see what November brings. Too many firsts in Nov.
Replies
You are still in the \"early stages\" of grief - so your feelings are perfectly normal. Your coworker obviously hasn\'t lost her spouse, so she doesn\'t have a clue how terrible this time is for you. People say \"goofy\" things quite often to new widows - just from ignorance. If you have a girlfriend or relative who can do something with you on your birthday, ask them to. Go eat somewhere, watch a movie, go for a little shopping. Believe me, I realize you don\'t feel like doing anything, but this might help for a while. All the \"firsts\" are very hard - anniversaries, etc. To me, the holiday season has always been hard. It is better now, but never the same of course. Wishing you peaceful days - Doye