Dreaded car windows
Stevan,
Well the new van I got, well not new but 3 yrs old, only 17,000 miles on it has the dreaded drivers window curse too. I was picking Casey up from Mom's and I went to roll the window down and it got stuck down, IT IS ONLY 4 degrees here today! I drove to the dealership I bought it from and they can't fix until tomorrow morning. I guess I have the curse of the power window uh, You would have laughed at me I know it.
Well I stayed home today from work, didn't get much sleep last night and this morning I woke up just wanting to cry, I miss you so. I cried for a good while this morning and stayed in bed til about 12;30, then got up walked around the house sat on the computer and back to bed til I had to pick Casey up. I broke down at Mom's when I got there, I told her I miss you so much it hurts to not have you here anymore, they say her e that it is like having half of die too and that is precisely right. I feel as if I only have half of me here, my other half died when you died. I miss holding you, talking to you, kissing you and all else with you. You were my everything Stevan and I can't look to the future right now without you there with me, us. I start a spouse grief group Monday night I hope this is something that will help me through some of this. You are and were my 1st LOVE and I will always long for you Stevan. I hope you can hear me and the kids when we tell you we love you and miss you, I hope you can read these entries also, they are what I am feeling here and now. I love you Stevan.
ALWAYS & ALWAYS
FOREVER & EVER
Laurie
Well the new van I got, well not new but 3 yrs old, only 17,000 miles on it has the dreaded drivers window curse too. I was picking Casey up from Mom's and I went to roll the window down and it got stuck down, IT IS ONLY 4 degrees here today! I drove to the dealership I bought it from and they can't fix until tomorrow morning. I guess I have the curse of the power window uh, You would have laughed at me I know it.
Well I stayed home today from work, didn't get much sleep last night and this morning I woke up just wanting to cry, I miss you so. I cried for a good while this morning and stayed in bed til about 12;30, then got up walked around the house sat on the computer and back to bed til I had to pick Casey up. I broke down at Mom's when I got there, I told her I miss you so much it hurts to not have you here anymore, they say her e that it is like having half of die too and that is precisely right. I feel as if I only have half of me here, my other half died when you died. I miss holding you, talking to you, kissing you and all else with you. You were my everything Stevan and I can't look to the future right now without you there with me, us. I start a spouse grief group Monday night I hope this is something that will help me through some of this. You are and were my 1st LOVE and I will always long for you Stevan. I hope you can hear me and the kids when we tell you we love you and miss you, I hope you can read these entries also, they are what I am feeling here and now. I love you Stevan.
ALWAYS & ALWAYS
FOREVER & EVER
Laurie
Replies
I can only imagine the cold drive you had, bummer they cant fix it till tomorrow. I was told that things can only get better so im trying to be optimistic, I do miss my sweetie, but hes in a better place, and you need to think that with Stevan, my hearts with you.
Carol
Thanks Carol,
I am to, after today I told myself that I need to push forward, I cried for him hard today, maybe that is what I really needed to do, by myself without the kids here, just me and my lab Ollie, he looked at me like I was nuts ;) But I do have to get things together as I am tired of being in this place of total sadness. I have to start to think the way you are that Stevan is in a better place, so I hope, I am not really that religious, But I do believe there is something after this hell we call earth and that there is someone or something that got us here, we will never know til we die to see what this is all about. Thank you for your kind words and help I am glad we connected and I hope that we stay in touch and keep each other in thoughts and prayers. I am happy you are trying to be optimistic I am shooting for that also.
Peace and Love
Laurie