Dreams
Yesterday was a bad day. I have been doing so well, I dont know what happened. It doesnt help that I keep having dreams about the MC and also having dreams that we are trying but we cant get pregnant after multiple IUI's. Im also upset because I feel like it is my fault. I have very low estrogen levels and to conceive this baby they uped my Estrogen pills to four times a day. At my 8 wk US the doctor said I could go down to twice a day. So I did and the next week the baby passed. I wish I would of had them do a bld draw first to see what my levels where. What if this could have been prevented... I feel like it's all my fault. Every body just wants you to move on, to forget about it and start trying again. I dont want to move on, I dont want to forget about this baby that we have been trying for for so long. Why dont people get that? And alot of people dont even bring it up to you, they act like it never happened. Sorry for the venting. I called my OB's office today to see if the bld work results where back, but they said no. Probably not tell next week. I hope something comes back so we can fix it. I wish I would of had the testing on the fetus. I would of loved to know what we were having. Then I could name the baby and make her more real.
Replies
I am sorry today is not a good day and that you hae had several like these lately. I don\'t know what you are going through but I do know that this wasn\'t your fault. I will be praying for you. You don\'t need to forget and get over it. My mom still grieves the baby she lost before having me and that was 26 years ago. My sister also grieves the loss of her first baby. Don\'t listen to people who are saying that. most people unfortunately speak before they think. I hope you get your results soon so you can know what you can do to start trying again. I am praying that it doesn\'t take long for your miracle.
It is not your fault. I blamed myself for a long time too. I still struggle with it at times, but it is not your fault. I still think about my angel all the time. At some point I plan on getting a tatoo on my foot of the rose from the memorial rose bush be bought on the due date. It is all in your time. People are only telling you that bc they do not understand. I am praying for you.
We all have our days like that. I\'ve gone through my share. Like Ahopper and msnm said, It\'s not your fault. Those people who are telling you to forget it and move on do not understand what this feels like. You do what\'s best for you and it\'s ok to vent. I hope you feel better.
Your in my prayers sweetie.
Its not your fault... it just happened; and only God knows why! I\'ll tell you something though dreams are our subconsious\' way of working things out. After our first miscarriage I stayed in bed for 3days and wouldn\'t eat or anything; I just thought I didn\'t deserve it. You reach a point and you realize that you have to move on that though the world feels like it should have stopped it doesn\'t. I\'m here if you need me as we\'ve been through it twice (once at 6 1/2wks along and the second with Joseph at 23wks). God bless
You will have your results soon and finally have some answers that should help you feel a little more at peace with things