Drained.
One day last year, my body, my soul, my heart, became DRAINED. No matter what I do, sleep, extra sleep, try to rest, nothing seems to take that DRAINED feeling a way from me. I know the very day it happened, the exact moment in time, that my body became DRAINED. I know at 10:49p.m. on Dec 30th, 2009, my body felt a DRAINED like I had never ever felt before. and every day since then it feels that same way JUST DRAINED.
I go about doing what I need to do. I smile, I even laugh, I think, I listen, but mostly I am nothing but DRAINED.
There does not seem to be one minute in time that my mind does not remember that that night as I held my son's warm hand, as my other hand laid upon his heart, hearing but not hearing the horrible sounds of the monitors, as my son's body struggled to stay, yet the spirit knew it had to go. Not one second can that memory be erased from my mind as we sat by your side all day and that night because the doctor's had said, "This is the day, This is the day that Kenny is dying". I didn't want my mind to hear those words. I didn't dare believe those words. But even though I knew that God could have fixed it, somewhere I think I knew the day had come. so that night as mom held your hand, mom's other hand was on your heart, mom felt your last heart beat as it stopped. Mom looked at you with all the tubes in your mouth, but you still were able to mouth the words "I love you", then the angels took your spirit from us and led you to your beautiful home with Jesus.
DRAINED that moment has stood still in time in my body. My body feels so DRAINED. I don't believe it is because I am tired. I don't believe it is because I need more rest. I don't believe it is because a vacation is needed. I think I know why my body feels so DRAINED.
I am DRAINED, because that night at 10:49p.m. a part of me left too and that part that left me has now left me DRAINED. I have never understood why I feel so DRAINED until this morning. I am DRAINED, because you are gone. But one day that will change, we well be together again, and Ken know what, Mom won't be DRAINED anymore.
Love you son, more than life itself. Tell Jesus I said "Hi".
Your mom forever and ever.
I go about doing what I need to do. I smile, I even laugh, I think, I listen, but mostly I am nothing but DRAINED.
There does not seem to be one minute in time that my mind does not remember that that night as I held my son's warm hand, as my other hand laid upon his heart, hearing but not hearing the horrible sounds of the monitors, as my son's body struggled to stay, yet the spirit knew it had to go. Not one second can that memory be erased from my mind as we sat by your side all day and that night because the doctor's had said, "This is the day, This is the day that Kenny is dying". I didn't want my mind to hear those words. I didn't dare believe those words. But even though I knew that God could have fixed it, somewhere I think I knew the day had come. so that night as mom held your hand, mom's other hand was on your heart, mom felt your last heart beat as it stopped. Mom looked at you with all the tubes in your mouth, but you still were able to mouth the words "I love you", then the angels took your spirit from us and led you to your beautiful home with Jesus.
DRAINED that moment has stood still in time in my body. My body feels so DRAINED. I don't believe it is because I am tired. I don't believe it is because I need more rest. I don't believe it is because a vacation is needed. I think I know why my body feels so DRAINED.
I am DRAINED, because that night at 10:49p.m. a part of me left too and that part that left me has now left me DRAINED. I have never understood why I feel so DRAINED until this morning. I am DRAINED, because you are gone. But one day that will change, we well be together again, and Ken know what, Mom won't be DRAINED anymore.
Love you son, more than life itself. Tell Jesus I said "Hi".
Your mom forever and ever.
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