Drugs?!?!
I tell you, I really really dislike taking drugs of any kind. My cold and congestion are lasting a bit longer than I had anticipated, so I agreed to take the wally world brand of nyquil and dayquil. I hate the way it makes me loopy; like my eyes feel too big for my sockets, like my arms feel like they are heavier than the rest of me, and like my head is too big for my body. I feel like a bobble head! Ack! I still feel it the next day. I don't often take any drugs of this kind, so my body has some catching up to do.
I never quite understood why drugs appealed to people. It's just that, I understand how they affect the mind and body, and I understand how people get addicted to them. What I don't understand is, what makes people enjoy those sensations? I hate not having control of aspects of myself. I very much enjoy being in total control all the time; I enjoy controlling my thoughts, emotions and senses. Friends have told me that drug give them focus and social skills, but I just think, "What social skills?". If you are on drugs, then you don't actually possess your social skills, in reality you don't develop coping mechanisms for uncomfortable situations. Unless you have the drugs, you basically don't have the ability to function on your own. I may sound too frank, but I wholly wish I could understand how people feel better with recreational drugs instead of worse, like me. It's the opposite with in my case, I feel like I'm a strong person and well rounded because my ability to communicate and emote things is my own, and I don't have to attribute it to anything else except my own efforts and hardships. I feel empowered by the thought that I can function perfectly fine with just my own brain and my little frail body. Not to sound prideful and conceited, I do have plenty of flaws, but I've got to give myself a little credit, right?
I have an open heart and an open mind. I find good in everyone. I just meditate a lot on people and how they are, not to alienate them, but to understand them as much as I can.
-A :-)
I never quite understood why drugs appealed to people. It's just that, I understand how they affect the mind and body, and I understand how people get addicted to them. What I don't understand is, what makes people enjoy those sensations? I hate not having control of aspects of myself. I very much enjoy being in total control all the time; I enjoy controlling my thoughts, emotions and senses. Friends have told me that drug give them focus and social skills, but I just think, "What social skills?". If you are on drugs, then you don't actually possess your social skills, in reality you don't develop coping mechanisms for uncomfortable situations. Unless you have the drugs, you basically don't have the ability to function on your own. I may sound too frank, but I wholly wish I could understand how people feel better with recreational drugs instead of worse, like me. It's the opposite with in my case, I feel like I'm a strong person and well rounded because my ability to communicate and emote things is my own, and I don't have to attribute it to anything else except my own efforts and hardships. I feel empowered by the thought that I can function perfectly fine with just my own brain and my little frail body. Not to sound prideful and conceited, I do have plenty of flaws, but I've got to give myself a little credit, right?
I have an open heart and an open mind. I find good in everyone. I just meditate a lot on people and how they are, not to alienate them, but to understand them as much as I can.
-A :-)
Replies
I feel the EXACT same way as you. That is why I am so hesitant to look into meds for social anxiety or depression or anything like that. My therapist suggested that as a possibility, but I told her I am not sure if I would be comfortable with that yet and I would like to try therapy first. I don\'t want my happiness to be dependent on meds that I have to spend money on. Also, even though I want to be happy and realize the possibility that there may be biological factors causing my problems, I am still afraid of being put on something that will somehow \"brainwash\" me into being happy under conditions where I would normally not be. I actually feel like I don\'t want to just learn to accept things the way they are even if they are not the way I want them. I have really been hoping that I can either change things or convince myself that they really are the way I want them to be.