I saw my psych last Thursday and asked him if everyone  answers "never" to the question if you ever think about suicide on the weekly questionnaire each week. He said yes and must have caught on to what I  was asking. I told him that I think of it as to an alcohol drinker that is sober. It is always there but some days you just have to fight it harder. He seemed pleased with my honesty. I actually have a saying "been there, done that, got smart, moved on". So ok last week was bad, but mothers day turned it around and now things are good. I see him again tomorrow. <3