Downhill a Lil
So I have returned, cause I guess I got desperate. I dunno.
I got myself a beautiful girlfriend, she's 19 and Im 17 this year. We have been goin out for a lil over 4 months. I love her and she loves me, we have expressed each other being "the ones" Although lately she's been distant and even though we skype for days at a time and sometimes consecutive days, we don't talk in our calls. She would rather watch netflix, play games, listen to music, or read. That is al fine with me, but she doesn't make any effort to talk. Everytime I try talking to her I feel as though I am disturbing her. We have talked about it and she claims that it is because she is comfortable with the silence and that even before she met me she wasn't much of a talker.
I am flattered that she is so comfortable with me, but it kinda sucks because sometimes I would like to have a conversation with her and it just doesn't happen. It sucks because I know my life doesnt suck. I am very fortunate to have everything I do. I have everything I could've ever wished for, but yet I am still unhappy and depressed at times. I feel worthless, a lot of times I don't know what to do with myself. I have felt like crying, and have tried but no tears will come out. So that makes me feel worse. I just wish that I wouldn't feel so empty and worthless. Or unloved at times. For me she says she loves me, but actions are louder than words, and at the time being there are no actions.
I got myself a beautiful girlfriend, she's 19 and Im 17 this year. We have been goin out for a lil over 4 months. I love her and she loves me, we have expressed each other being "the ones" Although lately she's been distant and even though we skype for days at a time and sometimes consecutive days, we don't talk in our calls. She would rather watch netflix, play games, listen to music, or read. That is al fine with me, but she doesn't make any effort to talk. Everytime I try talking to her I feel as though I am disturbing her. We have talked about it and she claims that it is because she is comfortable with the silence and that even before she met me she wasn't much of a talker.
I am flattered that she is so comfortable with me, but it kinda sucks because sometimes I would like to have a conversation with her and it just doesn't happen. It sucks because I know my life doesnt suck. I am very fortunate to have everything I do. I have everything I could've ever wished for, but yet I am still unhappy and depressed at times. I feel worthless, a lot of times I don't know what to do with myself. I have felt like crying, and have tried but no tears will come out. So that makes me feel worse. I just wish that I wouldn't feel so empty and worthless. Or unloved at times. For me she says she loves me, but actions are louder than words, and at the time being there are no actions.
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