Down in the Dumps!
Yet another day in the hospital! I'm bored as usuall! A person can only watch so much TV and surf so much net! I've been doing a lot of thinking about school too! I have to make a choice when I get back home! I can either re-enter my school and try once again to get my high school diploma or I can go for my GED! The problem is that I want my diploma SOOOOOOO bad words can't describe! But it's taking so long to get it and I still have like a good year left. With me being irresponsible at times and being sick it seems imposible to achieve it! I have been working towards my diploma for a good 2-2 1/2 years, after I dropped out, and haven't gotten very far! My principal is so supportive of me and knows how smart I am and what I'm capable of achieving! And yet he is getting frustrated, which he has every right, at how long it's taking, how much further I have, and how I'm in and out of school ALL the time! He keeps suggesting that I go for my GED! He says he knows it wouldn't be difficult for me to get and I would have it and be done with school in a short period of time! This seems like a no brainer, that I should/would choose my GED. But I really don't know if I can live the rest of my life saying I didn't graduate and get my diploma! Another problem is that lets say I do get my GED, will it be enough to be able to pass my SATs. I have every intension of going to college! I can get into a two year college with a GED but have to have decient SAT scores! Will I be able to do that with just the knowledge of a GED? I want more than anything to be able to graduate, have a gown and hat cerimony, a graduation party, and senior pics. But if I go with a GED a lot of that isn't possible. But on the other hand if I go for my diploma, at this rate I won't even graduate before my lil sis. I need to get out of my hometown very bad. With a GED I could do that soon, but with my diploma I'm stuck here for quite some time! But whos to say once I get to college I won't fail? I know thats a risk I have to take but I'm just worried I'm gonna end up back here. I wish with everything in me that I could stay in my town with my mom and family. But if I do so I won't have any opportunities to excell in life and will, more inmportantly, be stuck here with the bad influences and a friend that just won't except that I can't and shouldn't hang out with her anymore! The hard part is that I love her to death and we have a great time. But if I continue to hang out with her it won't be good for me in the long run! If I don't leave and start fresh with new faces, better people, and better environment, I could very well die a lot younger. It's really hard to explain but that's just how it is and I CAN'T change any of it. If I stay I will be miserable and if I leave I will have a chance in life! But to take a leap like that with no one I know and nothing familiar is soooooo scary! I just don't know what to do and need a sign or someone to tell me what to do!
Replies
Megan It\'s easy to do the right thing when you think about it. So do the right thing for YOU! Your all grown up now , Buck up. Good luck and happy Thanksgiving. Tj
Can you get home schooled while you\'re sick?! In my district, if you\'re out for 24 consecutive school days, they have to home school you! When my brother had mono, they did that for him... they come to your house, and teach you the lessons, give you the homework... etc, and you still get graded like the other students, you\'re just not in the classroom!
I can\'t imagine how hard that must be... but I must say if you knwo that you are mildly irresponsible, that could be the first thing to work on, cause clearly you can\'t change your condition. If your friends are a bad influence, you have to say no to them... I know, easier said than done...
Rich is back in the hospital, and we had a talk, because I\'ve realized, we\'ve never talked about his CF, we just kinda ignore it, and deal separately... and I need a little more than that, cause he\'s been dealling with it his whole life... me, I\'m just an outsider and sometimes I need to know how he feels, and if how I\'m feeling is unnecessary... But anyway, he told me that before we met, he was depressed about being sick, and he turned to drugs... then all his friends started dying and going to jail, so he stopped that! I suppose that made it a little easier, because he saw the consequences of his actions. But I always feel like your friends should help you to make good decisions, and not bad ones!! (I would always get so mad when we\'d go to the bar, and I\'d see his friends giving him cigarettes... Once I took it away (he was too drunk to say no) and told his friends they should be ashamed of themselves for giving a kid with a lung condition a cigarette...)
You\'re a good kid, with a good head on your shoulders... You\'ve had more growing up to do than most of your friends... Tell your friend the truth... you love her dearly, but you can\'t be friends anymore, because the things you do, or the choices you make together aren\'t good for your health... Good luck! Try to have a good thanksgiving :) WIll they let you out in time? Rich said he\'s breaking out if they don\'t let him out... lol