Down Again!

I have been "choosing" to be happy and hopeful for a while now.  It has seemed to work but then I realized I am drawing strengh for my happiness from a very unhealthy place.  My almost nonexistant outside chance of getting Tony back.  My world and happiness still revolves around him! Why??? Why can't I find happiness without him?!? Why won't God send me someone who makes me forget about him? How long is this supposed to take! Is true, unconditional love (as I have for him) really forever, even if it is only onesided? Today is my daughter's Bday and here I sit still thinking about his stupid ass! Why do we make people "our world", "our everything" so we feel incomplete without them. I want to be whole and happy without him so badly! Onward I go, to who knows where, alone!