Double GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRERRRRRRRRRRRRR
OH, GOD I WANT A CIGARETTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I swore I would not write another journal page in the negitive.. But I guess I lied. My computer got sick. Lost a whole bunch of stuff. Why do people send out these viruses? What is the point? They can't see my flustration. They can't see the things they made happen. Where is the tickle for them? If I wanted to deliberatly make trouble for some one, I would so want to see how it played out. What they were saying, what they were thinking,etc, etc, etc. Hear about the ranting and raving.
To say I am flustrated is an understatement. I am angry. I haven't been able to be here on DS for a couple of days except a quick walk through last night on Dennis's work computer. My games I love to play are all messed up and I have to enter all the registration codes again. Some are old and I can't find the codes. My e-mail for the last 2 days is out there in cyberland somewhere. I had it and was able to look through some of it but when Dennis went to see if he could find some other e-mail stuff I lost. Like the cruise details from the travel agent. The e-mail from today and yesterday took a flying leap into Cyberland. And it seems I can't send any mail either.
Then life took a messy turn Wed. My son dropped his boys off with a quick. "They are trying to take Carrah and the boys don't need to be in the middle of that." And out the door he goes leaving two crying little ones (11 and 8) with me. I get them settled down and we are playing card games. Ok so I taught my young grandsons how to play BlackJack --- but we were having fun and had an endless (almost) supply of money (beans)when Ric comes back about two hours later to get them. It seems that Pamela's dad had decided that Ric had a choice. He could sell the house and all other assets and split every thing 50/50 with Pamela, take Pamela back, or loose Carrah.
Carrah is his 14 year old step daughter whom he has taken care of and loved for 13 years.
His house payment is about $500 a month. The only other real asset he has is his car. Where can he possibly find an apartment or morgage payment that low in todays economy? No car how does he get back and forth to work?
We know this is all from her father because Pamela is not smart enough to come up with this stuff.
This is the third time that Ric has tried to leave Pamela and the third time her excuse for a father has done something like this to Ric. Her father wants someone else to be responsible for her so he doesn't have to be. Needless to say Pamela is back.
She swears she will never do drugs again (How very many times have I heard that one (5,000.000)). She is sorry. ( 3,000,000). She'll see the kids get to school (2,000,000). She'll never lie again (10,000,000). She'll clean and make sure the kids are clean so forth and so on. And she will until one of her "friends" offers her something she shouldn't have and then off we go again.
I know my heart has been broken before but never have I felt so broken,so helpless as when my 37 year old son. Held out his arms to me and cried, "Momma I can't loose my daughter over this." Laid his head on my shoulder and cried his heart out. (No mean feet since I am 5'4' and he almost 6 feet). I will hear those racking sobs for the rest of my life.
What do you say when her 11 year old son says " I'm mad at mom, we're doing fine why does she have to come back." ? When her daughters says she doesn't want her mother to come back? What do you say when your son says "I don't have a choice."?
To all who read this, I appologize for the lack of positive.
Love 'n hugs
I swore I would not write another journal page in the negitive.. But I guess I lied. My computer got sick. Lost a whole bunch of stuff. Why do people send out these viruses? What is the point? They can't see my flustration. They can't see the things they made happen. Where is the tickle for them? If I wanted to deliberatly make trouble for some one, I would so want to see how it played out. What they were saying, what they were thinking,etc, etc, etc. Hear about the ranting and raving.
To say I am flustrated is an understatement. I am angry. I haven't been able to be here on DS for a couple of days except a quick walk through last night on Dennis's work computer. My games I love to play are all messed up and I have to enter all the registration codes again. Some are old and I can't find the codes. My e-mail for the last 2 days is out there in cyberland somewhere. I had it and was able to look through some of it but when Dennis went to see if he could find some other e-mail stuff I lost. Like the cruise details from the travel agent. The e-mail from today and yesterday took a flying leap into Cyberland. And it seems I can't send any mail either.
Then life took a messy turn Wed. My son dropped his boys off with a quick. "They are trying to take Carrah and the boys don't need to be in the middle of that." And out the door he goes leaving two crying little ones (11 and 8) with me. I get them settled down and we are playing card games. Ok so I taught my young grandsons how to play BlackJack --- but we were having fun and had an endless (almost) supply of money (beans)when Ric comes back about two hours later to get them. It seems that Pamela's dad had decided that Ric had a choice. He could sell the house and all other assets and split every thing 50/50 with Pamela, take Pamela back, or loose Carrah.
Carrah is his 14 year old step daughter whom he has taken care of and loved for 13 years.
His house payment is about $500 a month. The only other real asset he has is his car. Where can he possibly find an apartment or morgage payment that low in todays economy? No car how does he get back and forth to work?
We know this is all from her father because Pamela is not smart enough to come up with this stuff.
This is the third time that Ric has tried to leave Pamela and the third time her excuse for a father has done something like this to Ric. Her father wants someone else to be responsible for her so he doesn't have to be. Needless to say Pamela is back.
She swears she will never do drugs again (How very many times have I heard that one (5,000.000)). She is sorry. ( 3,000,000). She'll see the kids get to school (2,000,000). She'll never lie again (10,000,000). She'll clean and make sure the kids are clean so forth and so on. And she will until one of her "friends" offers her something she shouldn't have and then off we go again.
I know my heart has been broken before but never have I felt so broken,so helpless as when my 37 year old son. Held out his arms to me and cried, "Momma I can't loose my daughter over this." Laid his head on my shoulder and cried his heart out. (No mean feet since I am 5'4' and he almost 6 feet). I will hear those racking sobs for the rest of my life.
What do you say when her 11 year old son says " I'm mad at mom, we're doing fine why does she have to come back." ? When her daughters says she doesn't want her mother to come back? What do you say when your son says "I don't have a choice."?
To all who read this, I appologize for the lack of positive.
Love 'n hugs
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