This weekend has been the worst one in my entire life. Not because particularly bad things have happened though some have happened to my girlfriend, who was out of town until today and is leaving again Saturday possibly with out me being able to see her, but because I have dysthymia and I am suffering from the funnest bout of double depression yet. (if you can't catch subtle hints that was sarcasm) The thing I believe started it was the fact that over the summer I haven't actually been able to hang out with my girlfriend much since shes always out of town so this time I just started feeling worse than normal. Then on a float trip I had to face my biggest fear, Scotomaphobia or fear of going blind, when my dad, who is a doctor, (sorry for all the interruptions by the way) told me that I had a high risk of retinal detachment, its where the retina literally separates from the back of your eyeball and can cause you to go blind, when I get older. On top of that my dad revealed that I have exercise induced asthma. So with my girlfriend going through what she is and me not being able to help, and having to face my biggest fear, and oh no it isn't anything sudden its this gnawing anxiety knowing that I'll probably have to face it some day, I feel like there should be a status button for something worse than horrible, normally how I feel is horrible this is worse than that, but no there isn't. So a recap, I'm feeling bad, my girlfriend is feeling bad, and I cant help her because shes too far away and my feeling bad makes me not up to comforting her even over the phone or in a text which feels worse. Well for those of you who actually care about any of this and read all the way through this, if you even started, this is how I've been feeling. Thank you very much for your time.