It has been about two weeks since my last journal entry and I am feeling pretty much the same. The drive and energy to prosper have not returned. The urge to blow all my money at the casinos has not returned (Thank God). I am occaionally buying lottery tickets, NEVER more than 7 or 8 dollars. It still burns me that my cousin and neighbor who won over a million in the lottery totally ignored me when the problems arose with my house which I eventually lost. Every day I think how could such a jerk win and I can't? I am thankful for my family of course, they are all healthy and active. However I cannot escape the guilt, problems and loss of money that I caused. I am in a rut and I cannot climb out. I am trying a create a lucky break to get back on my feet and be prosperous again, but it is not happening. Oh well, something is bound to happen as long as I keep going. But............ it will not happen at a casino.