doors to nowhere?
Friday, days ago, was lousy year anniversary for putting my cat to sleep; Sunday was a month for having moved to new town.
I'm finally appreciating where I moved, after thinking how seeing a # of 2nd floor doors to nowhere is what my whole life has been about.
Can't believe, now, that I ever debated about moving from the flop house I lived in for 10 years. That landlord really turned psycho and hateful when I told him I had enough. I now live in a much better looking apartment, with no noise what so ever, and no worries of being burglarized, either.
My cat has slowly gotten used to the new place, though he spends a lot of time in the window, behind a curtain, like an ostrich with its head in the sand, though a loud heater is also near him, after we both froze at the old place.
Hoping that next month I can afford a 99 dollar walmart folded up mattress, after the $30 air mattress I've been sleeping on all month deflates during the night.
Lots of brick buildings in the town I moved to, along with some brick sidewalks, with a railroad through center of town that gets used a lot, with even-well dressed locals having to walk across the tracks. The local grocery store sells a lot of freshly made halupkis and perogies, along with apple slices mixed with yam slices for desert. It's also another PA town with an Indian name.
A lot of my obsessing about the past is out of me, now that I'm finally out of my hometown, with my hometown having bad reminders everywhere I went.
"Have a good one"---what most local cashiers say, instead of "have a nice day"
I'm finally appreciating where I moved, after thinking how seeing a # of 2nd floor doors to nowhere is what my whole life has been about.
Can't believe, now, that I ever debated about moving from the flop house I lived in for 10 years. That landlord really turned psycho and hateful when I told him I had enough. I now live in a much better looking apartment, with no noise what so ever, and no worries of being burglarized, either.
My cat has slowly gotten used to the new place, though he spends a lot of time in the window, behind a curtain, like an ostrich with its head in the sand, though a loud heater is also near him, after we both froze at the old place.
Hoping that next month I can afford a 99 dollar walmart folded up mattress, after the $30 air mattress I've been sleeping on all month deflates during the night.
Lots of brick buildings in the town I moved to, along with some brick sidewalks, with a railroad through center of town that gets used a lot, with even-well dressed locals having to walk across the tracks. The local grocery store sells a lot of freshly made halupkis and perogies, along with apple slices mixed with yam slices for desert. It's also another PA town with an Indian name.
A lot of my obsessing about the past is out of me, now that I'm finally out of my hometown, with my hometown having bad reminders everywhere I went.
"Have a good one"---what most local cashiers say, instead of "have a nice day"
Replies
I am so happy to see such a positive post from you. Moving has turned out to be a good change for you in a few ways. My wish for you is to find some serenity in your life. You deserve it. So proud of you finding the strength to move.
Thank you, very much.
I guess what anybody can hope for is peace of mind, no matter what their predicament.
So happy for you Mike. I know it was tough but something had to give. I have been kind of \"forced\" by certain circumstances to revisit my past. Lots of emotions coming to the surface. MUST attend funeral service for my Dad in Georgia in April. I am going to fall apart and all the stored up tears will come out
It sounds like you have made a wonderful change! I also wish I had moved from Philly sooner. I stayed there because it was my childhood home and my home for much of my adulthood. But my life down here has been a 180-degree turn for the better!
I\'m glad the move is favorable. I moved also, to get away from haunting memories. It helped, but still I had to deal with the echos, as it turned out the pain came with me. I still think it was a good move, unfortunately turned bad for health reasons. I was thinking, perhaps you can hold off on the matress and for a couple hundred get yourself a futon. Serves two purposes, and gets you off the ground. I hope things continue to look up for you.
TroJanthunder,
Sorry to hear about your emotions coming to the surface. Will you force yourself to write down in your own, off-site diary, to remember them....? I get ideas/emotions that only last a few minutes or maybe a couple days---and then its like i\'m in a totally different world, with me looking back at my hand-written diaries unable to believe what i thought---but glad i did write down stuff when i was in a different mind.
Like a therapist told me 10 years ago, i couldnt cry, despite the really terrible stuff i was going through, cause, supposedly, i was afraid of totally losing control (ie, from crying to loonie bin), so, hopefully, a cry will be good for you.
LivingWater,
I\'m glad for your 180 degree turn for the better.
Mine is probably the same, though having to walk around this new town in the icy winter, like maneuvering through a battlefield, is maybe stopping me from completely appreciating my move. Cleaning ice off sidewalks seems to be a rare event in this town, with me having to buy strap on cleets for my hiking shoes.
Of course, with the bad crime in Philly, you can be glad you made it out there alive---though Reading, not too far from there, is supposedly worse.
Gustokitty,
The Sophia Loren movie, \"Two Women\", has the great line, \"You can\'t escape from yourself\"---though I\'m trying, thanks to change in scenery.
2 hours from now, i\'m hoping to get a folded up cloth mattress, or at least a better air mattress----and transport it on the local bus. Walmart has futons, and on local walmart grounds is a bed store with $160 for a mattress and box frame, but I\'m too broke for that after moving costs.
Hopefully, you, like me, can \"escape from yourself\"---one of my many screensavers even has the saying, from a book, \"Get out of your own way.\"