Dont know how to feel

Well, like clockwork, Spanky contacts me last night and wants me to come party with Clint and him in White Rock. It sounded like fun so I went.  Things went really well at first. Spanky went and put on some Axe and I knew what was next.  We went to his tent and kissed eachother like crazy.  Then we had fantastic sex.  Clint came in and interrupted us and from there on, it got really weird.  We went to the quarry and went swimming for a bit and then back to camp.  Clint went to the other peoples camp down from us while Spank made dinner.  We really didn't talk much. I did ask him about calling me crazy and psycho and he denied the entire thing.  Clint wanted to get back in the tent afterwards but I played it off saying that I had to go soon and Spanky kept saying that he wasn't "prepared".  Spanky went to his tent and summoned me to sleep next to him.  I got in and gave him his space, which he didn't want and we ended up laying next to eachother.  I knew that he was always "prepared" when it came to sex and he definately was.  Afterwards we talked a few and I found out that Rayna had moved in with her best friend for a while so she can decide what she really wants.  He said that it didn't bother him but when I asked him if he loved her he said, "strangely,yes".  It hurt to hear that.  I turned over with my back to him and the next thing I knew, he was asleep.  He rolled over into me and basically crossed his arms so he didn't touch me.  I got up, kissed his forehead and left.  He didn't feel like MY Spanky- the loving, sweet, happy Spanky.  It really bothered me.  I want THAT man back!!!  I'm still totally in love with him!!  I hope that Rayna decides that she would rather live with Linette so she can date other guys and not have to get into it with Spank.  I want SO BAD to be able to come see him during lunch and hang with him again.  If there was one thing that I would want, it would be to become closer to him again.  Guess i'll have to wait another 2 months before I see him again.  Clint talked more like he wasted me to be around in the future more than Spank did.  I texted him at 3 and haven't heard anything from them yet.  Don't really expect to either.  It was a one night/every 2 month stand I guess.