Don't know where to start

Wow this is something I have not done in a long time, I had quit because my feelings where no longer my feelings and I was told how I should feel. It will probably take me a little while to get comfortable writing again but I do have somethings I need to let out and let go. About 18 months ago I decided to end my marriage of 18 years. I decided I wanted to be myself again and I wanted my boys to know they to could be different than the way they were learning to be. A lot of things have changed in that 18 months but things have turned out different than the way I envisioned them to be. First I have lost my two oldest boys, they are angry at me because I did not leave sooner, but they are so used to the way their dad has taught them to be the refuse to leave. I really worry about this because the way they were taught is against social norms, and everyone knows that social norms are a must when you want to lead a successful life. (I think I will write more on the social norms topic later because I am trying to keep this as more of an introduction) Then there is the fact that I have cut my husband completely out of my youngest sons life, I have done this legal of course, but I am fearful of what will happen later, to me and to my son. Then there is my youngest son, he has been diagnosed as autistic since we left his dad. So for the the last year my focus has been on helping him, and getting him through what is going on, because let's face it what I have done is hard on any child. Yes in many ways I feel guilty about what I have done, I question myself on if what I have done is right, I ask myself what I could have done differently, and most of all I am asking myself where I should go from here because as of right now my life is at a complete stand still because I have no idea what to do. How do you start over when you really never had a life to begin with?