don't know where my tears are gone

Since the last two days, I thought I must have cried so much. But in fact I don't know where my tears are gone.
Feelings are empty. Almost everyday, when the day is over, I go out drinking after work with my colleagues, talking, joking... And when I'm home, I turn on the music, listen to Secret Garden, and just sit like that in my room, do nothing but listen to the music.
Sometimes I want to think about him, but just a few moments later, my thoughts will travel somewhere else, in some undetermined space that I don't even know. Maybe they're gone to the Secret Garden, where there's noone for me to think about.