Don't Know What To Do
Back in 2011 my husband had an affair with a woman for 3 years. He had said it was over, but something inside me knew better. In August of 2012 I caught him and her talking at a park. He said he needed to talk to her, so I forgave him again. This last October/November 2013 he saw her again which I caught him. Again they weren't doing anything but talking, but I have been devastated. He said she was just a friend and that all other feelings were over. He has admitted in the last couple of months he was seeing her maybe a couple times a month just to walk and talk.
I have no family and work only part-time so I can be with my kids. I still think there is something going on. I told him back then and even a few weeks ago, if he wants this to work then he has to cut all ties with her. The problem is his job takes him through this town many times a day/week so he can meet her if he really wanted to during his work time and I wouldnt know anything about it. He gets so angry when I talk about this and I feel like he is still seeing her but he says he's not. In the past I when I called his work phone and he didn't answer this meant he was meeting her.
Today, I called his work phone 3 times and he didn't answer, I then called again and he turned on his phone and then was trying to hang up and I heard a woman's voice say "What's going on". I then called him 19 more times and no answer. Grant it he has much contact with women as he fixes copiers. He finally answered. When I asked what was going on he said he saw I called and didn't have good reception and that he would call me back when he was done with the copier. I told him I wanted a picture right then and there of the customer's location which he gave me but I still have an uneasy feeling. He didn't eat lunch supposedly which could be a lie as I was calling him from 12:34 until 12:58 when he sent me the picture. He said he is tired of me accusing him of seeing her and not trusting him, but what does he expect.
I wanted us to move and for him to change jobs. He says I am taking away all his hard work (which we live on several acres) and what he loves. Also, he says that he is comfortable in his job (which he as done for 22 years) and that if he changes jobs he will be gone all the time, etc. He hasn't even tried. I do bring the past up alot as I don't trust him and maybe it is me causing some of the problems but I see other spouses postings and how they will do anything to make it up to them. I want to put a tracking device on his personal phone but he turns them off once he is aware that I am tracking him. He has a work phone which I could put one on but I am a little nervous about that.
I love him but I don't know what to do as I have no family to turn to (they are all dead). I feel like I am stuck. He is a good person otherwises, but I don't know how else to come across to him. We were separated for 3 weeks back in November 2013. I told him I wanted to meet her and him together, we tried to set up a time and she didn't show up (I am not surprised). He said she texted him back in November (which he didn't show me) which supposedly said she hoped we both rotted in --ll. I just need to talk to someone who has been in the same situation. I am sorry if I am going all over the place in my journal. Any advice
I have no family and work only part-time so I can be with my kids. I still think there is something going on. I told him back then and even a few weeks ago, if he wants this to work then he has to cut all ties with her. The problem is his job takes him through this town many times a day/week so he can meet her if he really wanted to during his work time and I wouldnt know anything about it. He gets so angry when I talk about this and I feel like he is still seeing her but he says he's not. In the past I when I called his work phone and he didn't answer this meant he was meeting her.
Today, I called his work phone 3 times and he didn't answer, I then called again and he turned on his phone and then was trying to hang up and I heard a woman's voice say "What's going on". I then called him 19 more times and no answer. Grant it he has much contact with women as he fixes copiers. He finally answered. When I asked what was going on he said he saw I called and didn't have good reception and that he would call me back when he was done with the copier. I told him I wanted a picture right then and there of the customer's location which he gave me but I still have an uneasy feeling. He didn't eat lunch supposedly which could be a lie as I was calling him from 12:34 until 12:58 when he sent me the picture. He said he is tired of me accusing him of seeing her and not trusting him, but what does he expect.
I wanted us to move and for him to change jobs. He says I am taking away all his hard work (which we live on several acres) and what he loves. Also, he says that he is comfortable in his job (which he as done for 22 years) and that if he changes jobs he will be gone all the time, etc. He hasn't even tried. I do bring the past up alot as I don't trust him and maybe it is me causing some of the problems but I see other spouses postings and how they will do anything to make it up to them. I want to put a tracking device on his personal phone but he turns them off once he is aware that I am tracking him. He has a work phone which I could put one on but I am a little nervous about that.
I love him but I don't know what to do as I have no family to turn to (they are all dead). I feel like I am stuck. He is a good person otherwises, but I don't know how else to come across to him. We were separated for 3 weeks back in November 2013. I told him I wanted to meet her and him together, we tried to set up a time and she didn't show up (I am not surprised). He said she texted him back in November (which he didn't show me) which supposedly said she hoped we both rotted in --ll. I just need to talk to someone who has been in the same situation. I am sorry if I am going all over the place in my journal. Any advice
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