Don't know if my meds are working anymore.

Well I've had Latuda added to my meds cocktail since March 5th.  We worked up to 80 mg.  Initially I thought it might be working because I leveled off, although it could just have been a brief couple of weeks that normally happens.  That's all it was.  After those 2 weeks I've been on a roller coaster.  A few days up, a few days to a week down, sometimes really down, suicidal thoughts, mild hallucinations.  I'm disappointed.  I really hoped the Latuda would help with the depressions.  I spend most of my time in serious depression, very painful.  I have to fight very hard to keep perspective, to remember that depression is all about feeding us lies.  I see my psychiatrist on May 30th and we'll have a serious talk.  If I'm still swinging between mid-range hypomania and the dregs of depression every week or more, why am I even taking the meds?  If they're not working, why am I burdening my body with chemicals that cause weight gain and metabolic syndrome and who knows what else.  I've been super compliant, worked super hard at learning and implementing coping skills.  I fulfill my responsibilities, involved with church groups, workout in a gym, good relationship with hubby and grown kids, etc, etc,.  But I am frustrated now.  The greatest problem is that the meds that worked the best caused me serious side affects.    So, I seem to be able to "recover" up to a certain point.  It's better than the super ultra rapid cycling, but it's still ultra rapid cycling.  If that's the best there is, 'cause we've tried everything, then I'm tired of popping pills for nothing.  When is enough enough?