Don't Know
The greater part of me doesn't really know what I want to do & enter here at this moment in time.
Really up, down & all around in so many ways lately. My dizziness seems to be getting better. I have minor waves of it but thats all. Most of the time it seems to be centered in the morning for the 1st few hrs & that I can't begin to figure out. I do like having a blood pressure monitor at home. We both use it a few times a day & it seems to help us both feel like we've got a bit of a handle on things. I see my rheumy on Thurs afternoon. I'm hoping that we can really clarify some of this confusion. I haven't taken my methotrexate injection for the last 4 weeks now. I'll admit that since that passing out thing I just don't know. I seem to be doing pretty fairly without it. I do experience some minor inflammation, mostly the hands, in the morning for a few hrs but it settles down well. The vasculitis skin flare too is sporadic & when it does appear it seems to be mostly in the morning for a while then will settle down.
I had a horrible night last night(Mon.). Strange - I suddenly woke up at 1 a.m. As time went on I just wasn't feeling right. Around 2 a.m. my heart felt it was racing a bit so I figured I'd better get up & take a blood sugar test. It was fine, thankfully. I think it was around 4ish that I started to fall asleep again & suddenly just jerked away again. But do you think I could go back to sleep, nope, wasn't gonna happen. I had taken my sleeping pill too darn it all. So by 6 a.m. I finally gave up & got up. We had planned on going to the gym but I felt so out of it, like it was a morning after the night before only there was no night before.
I've had some days where my good diet control has been a bit off, done some small indulging & instinct is telling me it's a bit part of the problem. Most people with lupus can easily have diet issues - foods that your system just can't seem to handle. So one thing I've decided to do is give myself 2 days out of the week where I'll call them treat days & that will be that. I'll see how things go from there.
Hubby is struggling on so many levels. I think he got a chill abt a wk ago & he did have sort of a cold/cough set in. He's really struggled with it. He goes thru waves of emotions huge ups & downs & frustration. There are times where I can feel it & yes we do talk but you know there are times where I can feel it's right to push at that precise moment. He's got another hormone injection in June. They seem to be harder on him this time around as I guess would be expected. The last round of treatments was abt 3 yrs ago now. Boy even just putting these words down is dragging me down so maybe I'll quite while I'm ahead. At least I know in my heart I've shared them with people that I know are there for me.
Oh yea, my blood sugar levels are worse them a roller coaster right now, geez whiz. It angers me to the point where I want to declare - DARN IT ALL I WANT MY LIFE BACK & UNDER CONTROL SO THERE!.
Any who, again, quiting while I am ahead.
Love all of you so very much.
Really up, down & all around in so many ways lately. My dizziness seems to be getting better. I have minor waves of it but thats all. Most of the time it seems to be centered in the morning for the 1st few hrs & that I can't begin to figure out. I do like having a blood pressure monitor at home. We both use it a few times a day & it seems to help us both feel like we've got a bit of a handle on things. I see my rheumy on Thurs afternoon. I'm hoping that we can really clarify some of this confusion. I haven't taken my methotrexate injection for the last 4 weeks now. I'll admit that since that passing out thing I just don't know. I seem to be doing pretty fairly without it. I do experience some minor inflammation, mostly the hands, in the morning for a few hrs but it settles down well. The vasculitis skin flare too is sporadic & when it does appear it seems to be mostly in the morning for a while then will settle down.
I had a horrible night last night(Mon.). Strange - I suddenly woke up at 1 a.m. As time went on I just wasn't feeling right. Around 2 a.m. my heart felt it was racing a bit so I figured I'd better get up & take a blood sugar test. It was fine, thankfully. I think it was around 4ish that I started to fall asleep again & suddenly just jerked away again. But do you think I could go back to sleep, nope, wasn't gonna happen. I had taken my sleeping pill too darn it all. So by 6 a.m. I finally gave up & got up. We had planned on going to the gym but I felt so out of it, like it was a morning after the night before only there was no night before.
I've had some days where my good diet control has been a bit off, done some small indulging & instinct is telling me it's a bit part of the problem. Most people with lupus can easily have diet issues - foods that your system just can't seem to handle. So one thing I've decided to do is give myself 2 days out of the week where I'll call them treat days & that will be that. I'll see how things go from there.
Hubby is struggling on so many levels. I think he got a chill abt a wk ago & he did have sort of a cold/cough set in. He's really struggled with it. He goes thru waves of emotions huge ups & downs & frustration. There are times where I can feel it & yes we do talk but you know there are times where I can feel it's right to push at that precise moment. He's got another hormone injection in June. They seem to be harder on him this time around as I guess would be expected. The last round of treatments was abt 3 yrs ago now. Boy even just putting these words down is dragging me down so maybe I'll quite while I'm ahead. At least I know in my heart I've shared them with people that I know are there for me.
Oh yea, my blood sugar levels are worse them a roller coaster right now, geez whiz. It angers me to the point where I want to declare - DARN IT ALL I WANT MY LIFE BACK & UNDER CONTROL SO THERE!.
Any who, again, quiting while I am ahead.
Love all of you so very much.
Replies
You are such a dear sweet friend and I will put you and your hubby in my prayers. I pray you get your life back and under control. Lots of tender hugs along with blessings and lots of love.
I have asked God to be there with you and Mel right now. I asked God to give you enough strength to travel on this journey He has planned for you both. I asked God to heal you and Mel and He said YES!! I love you so much and God loves you even more. may you be blessed. Frieda
Sorry that I am behind in reading journals but you have been on my mind. I pray boldly for healing for you and hubby. I pray that God surrounds you with his healing, his light, his peace and his presence and that you feel light and blessed today with so many gifts from above. Please keep us posted on the mtx and how you are doing without it. I pray that you don\'t need it anymore! woot woot! xoxo, m