Doing What\'s Right

   I hope I'm doing the right thing. Everytime I talk to one of my friends or family from back home, I get a good feeling. I already know that I'll feel at home and at the right place. I promise myself not to have too many distorted "visuals" of people, places or things anymore. That's what landed me here in the first place, and look what happened! I'm kinda scared to leave, yet I feel so relieved that I am. I really don't have anybody here in Hawaii. I can truely say that I don't really have any friends, just people who usually wanted favors from me! I hope someone out there can relate to my issue here. Seriously, everyday, I don't hang out with anyone. I only have the phone. Plus right now I'm still trying to heal from that stupid online love affair I had, and it almost doubles the lonliness out here. At least at home, I have my family and my two brothers whom I hang out with here and there. If I stay here, I'd have one more year of school. But to be completely alone for one whole year is painful! I've already gone through a huge depression before and I don't want to go through it again. Plus I already tried to make friends out here and noone seems to want to be my friend so the hell with it! I'll just start over back in my hometown. At least I can take care of my dogs now, wherease noone was properly taking care of them while I was here. When I came back home for vacation, my dogs and the backyard were a huge mess!!! Another thing is, my mom suffers terribly from OCD (hoarding). Seriously, I have to clean up the whole house! But my mother said she promised that she wouldn't bring home anymore "stuff". I hope she means it. Sometimes, maybe that's the reason why I wanted to leave and live on my own so that I can be in a place that's neat and clean. I don't know. I hope things go well when I get home.