Doing the best I can

Well, tomorrow it will be an entire month since I have seen or heard from Spanky.  This has been the longest that we have gone without speaking since before we met in October.  i don't know if he just doesn't want to talk or is he scared to try to talk to me thinking that I am mad at him or he is mad at me.  Right now I really don't care.  His Jeep was at home yesterday when he should have been at work.  Don't know if someone came and got him and took him to work or did he have his shoulder surgery?  Guess I won't know until someone tells me or he calls.  By him not even contacting me, it tells me that he is either so wrapped up into her that he just doesn't care about me anymore or he is, like i said, mad at me for telling on him and his little secret visit to me.  Well, it needed to be said!!  He obviously has been telling everyone that I am crazy.  Now after that, they probably think that i'm plum crazy and that anything that comes out of my mouth is hogwash.  If they only knew all the lies he has been telling them! Then they would see that i'm not crazy at all and that he needs help! I'm sure it will all come out in the wash eventually.  I hope so at least.  His mom is oblivious to it all, making up excuses and lying for him.  Does she realize that he can't stand her?  Drama, drama, drama!!!  Oh well, its not mine to deal with!  Been getting alot of out of state or far away hits on my Match.com. Probably going to delete my profile this wekeend.  I really don't even want to date anyone right now, if ever again.  I'm totally burnt out on it all.  Guys are liars and plain disgusting anymore.  I have alot to do at home these days and I need to work on it and get things done before the fall when I have alot of plants to cut back and a deck to re-stain! I just need to keep busy for now.  When swim season starts up again, i'm sure I will be more than busy then and will have NO time for anyone in my life.  That's ok though.  I need to learn to be alone.  Now if I could only get rid of my mother and her negative, it's all about me and MY decisions, bitchy attitude!  LOL