DOES IT EVER END?

DOES IT EVER END ALL THE HURT AND PAIN THAT ONE FEELS INSIDE? TO LOVE OR NOT TO LOVE, I DON'T WANT TO LOVE THE MAN ON THE INSIDE LOOKING TO THE OUTSIDE, THERE IS NO ESCAPE, NO ESCAPE FROM LOVING HIM, IT WOULD NOT BE SO HARD IF I HAD ADULT COMMUNICATION OUT HERE, OR AT LEAST I DON'T THINK IT WOULD BE SO BAD, BUT SINCE I ONLY HAVE A 5 AND 2 YEAR OLD TO TALK TO ALL DAY LONG, IT SURE GETS BORING, AND ITS LIKE I DON'T WANT TO HANG ON TO THIS DREAM, THIS NIGHTMARE, HIS INCARCERATION IS DRIVING ME INSANE AT TIMES, I WISH I KNEW HOW TO MOVE ON, BUT GUILT WILL NOT ALLOW ME TO MOVE ON EITHER. SO HERE WE HAVE IT, LOVE AND GUILT, WAITING AND WONDERING IF HE IS GOING TO DIE IN THERE, I DON'T SEE HIM MAKING IT OUT OF HELL HOLE ALIVE, NOT IF WE CAN'T GET THIS TEST TO PROVE HE IS SANE, ITS SO VERY EXSPENSIVE. I WISH MY DAUGHTER WAS DIFFERENT TOWARDS ME, I HAVE HAD A HORRIBLE LIFE WITH HER ALSO, CAN'T WRITE TO MUCH HERE, ONE NEVER KNOWS WHO READS THE JOURNALS. I WANT TO LET IT ALL OUT, EXPLODE IF I COULD, WISH I COULD TURN BACK THE HANDS OF TIME, OH WELL........                                                            JUST ME!