Does Each Time Still Feel Like The First
I was wondering if each time something come around does the still feel like the First....My birthday came in March, even though it hS been over 6 years, I wait to hear from my kids ...as I always had through the years... Normal wouldn't you say...yet when your child as Ken, has been gone six years plus, the mind does not comprehend ....we still wait to here the phone ring or door to open, after all time may have...passed but for my thoughts, my mind each holiday remains the same....Each holiday is the same....they REMAIN THE ...THEY ARE ALWAYS THE FIRST...
Replies
I don\'t any more. Maybe I am just different. But I have never placed much importance on my birthday, so maybe that is the difference. I have never taken off work for my b/d, my son\'s b/d nor his angel date. I have always fhought that a day or number is just that. Like, my son died on November 22nd. It was a Saturday. One year, it fell on Thanksgiving. Do I be sad on Saturdays, Nov 22nd or Thanksgiving day? No, I do not pay any attention to my birthday just my humble opinion, it seems so insignificant.
Your right....it would be easier.....holidays become more important to mr after my kids got older and I remarried. Funny how we change ...and my life and holidays are changing now...I think it is okay how we view holidays and dats...each has they way...no right or wrong
You are so right, it is just another day missing with all our hearts no matter the day, date or year. Peace, Kathy
I have to say that my birthday is not the same and it does bother me a lot. My son Justin\'s birthday was March 20th, mine the 24th and my husbands the 26th and for many years we all celebrated it together, one cake with all of our names on it. My mom was the one who would get the cake for all of us every year. Then when my first one came around without Justin, there was never another cake from my mom. She passed 6 months after Justin, then it was not just no mom with a cake, but no Justin either. All I can say is I have many happy memories of our birthdays celebrating together. I really don\'t care about my birthday, and all of the other holidays are the same, they are not the same for me and I find all of them just kind of depressing and I know I lost a big part of myself, loosing my son\'s and my mom because I am just not like I was on any holiday any more, just not 100 percent happy and probably never will be. XOX, Debbie
I can honestly say that nothing for me feels like the \"first.\" That was such a dark and desolate desert type experience for me that had to be felt fully. I understand we are each unique in how we are affected and for me sometimes the smallest of things are the trigger that places me looking into the vast darkness of the abyss. Deepest of sighs...
Almost eight years later, I am remembering some precious memories around the holidays/birthdays that I hold gently.
So wish that none of us had to know this sorrow and send you lots of loving care dear Sandi.
Hand in hand, Heart to heart,
XO Joanie
I have moved from the 1st feeling to closer to the 3rd or 4th. Not that I like it but getting used to it. It will never grow on me as the saying goes but I deal with it. I have learned to deal with many things, my daughter not needing me as much and my husband deteriorating I have to keep one eye on him medically all while working to support my habit of eating and paying bills LOL
Keep journaling and working through each day as it comes soon you will see a difference.
Tight hugs
Penny
Hi Sandi. Somehow I missed this so my response is a bit late! I honestly don\'t remember much about the first year. I was such a basket case. I get down on birthdays, angel days etc. In fact, I often start to feel sad a few days before; even if don\'t realize why at first. I can now recall the fun and laughter. I think I get depressed because, it is now all memory. We aren\'t making any more happy memories.
We are all different and we all deal with and process things differently. No right or wrong.
Tight hugs, M
I feel the same...No matter what as the time gets closer, I start getting down, wondering why, then some clicks, or someone says the date then I know,,,,then the date passes and I start feeling better.....until it starts all over again. I know I am not focusing on those dates...it just happens...even though I think of
Ken often it\'s certain days are harder to get through....