Doctor's Visit

I trust my neurosurgeon and am so glad I do. It was a hurry up and wait day for me today. Here is the news I've been waiting on. I said to my husband, "I'm not sure I know how to feel about this." when I got back to the car. The good news is: no surgery. The bad news : I  have to go for another nerve conduction test. Now, don't get me wrong...this is wonderful news, however, my last experience there was horrific. I don't want a repeat. I don't really care for that doctor, his personality or his manner with patients. I must pray for him often between now and my appointment. He is, reportedly, the best in town. I just want the results and to feel better now. Looks like another experience in learning patience and perseverance. You'd think I'd have that down pat by now. Not likely, it seems. So we wait for authorization and I try not to cringe at the memories of my previous visit. Hope it turns out differently than last time as I'm not in the same condition I should be okay, right?......sigh. 
Well, on we go into that twilight of unknowing, where everything is murky and I'm treading on unfamiliar territory. I don't like it here. Must remember I am not alone. God is with me and He knows each bump in the road better than I do. He should, He put them there. Mine is not to question why, just hold on to His hand and take the first step. 
There...I feel better. Do you? Oh, also they doubled my gabapentin prescription so I'm taking twice the amount I normally do. Not sure what will happen to me but will have to go with the flow on that mandate. It's not a med to mess with, that's for sure. Might grow another head...wish I could grow a new spine. 
While in the office, in front of the intern who was trying to establish my motor function, I had a pain episode. How rude of me.  I was trying not to cry, didn't want to wreck my mascara. I have so few times I actually go out and put it on now. Dang did I hurt. Nerve pain shooting across my back and into my hip. Then throbbing for about half an hour. I tend to guard; to curl up in a ball or as close to it as I can get now, wrapped in my light sweater, wishing I'd brought my flannel blankie with me. How sad! Even I feel sorry for me, just a little. 
Doctor's office did some routine urine testing and a new enzyme test on me too to make sure I'm taking my medications correctly and to prevent any future allergic reactions, or problems with medication crossovers. I'm glad they do this. I don't misuse my meds but I'm sure some do and this will help keep them safe. I want to be safe with my meds, and have some allergies to a few so this new program will help me and any ER and primary care physician take care of me in an emergency. I like it.
I'm snuggled on my couch with a good book, debating on whether to watch telly. I have a few review books to get through as more are on their way. Read it is then. :) Now where's my cabana boy? I need a latte.
You know, I noticed something. I try to inject humor into bad situations here, so why don't I do this regularly? Is it a coping mechanism? or am I truly finally losing it for good? Don't answer that, don't think I want to know. LOL