Doctor's visit

I had a doctor's visit today and it was more like a logistics appointment rather than a doctor's appointment.  We just talked about medication and paperwork.  That's it.  I was then scheduled to 3 weeks from now for another appointment.  I feel that there is a part of me that was shut down by this interaction.  I wanted to vent a little bit about my reluctance to get help when I needed (and help means here going to the ER when I am feeling really down) and since I find that this has not been cultivated in my relationship with another person (the doctor) I don't cultivate it myself.  I think that it is beneficial for me to go to the ER but I am very reluctant to go.  I hate the long lines and I don't even know what I am going to explain to them why I am feeling bad.  It is like something out of the ordinary and I cannot explain it.  My visit to the ER will useless because I am not willing to talk.  I feel that a very sensitive part of me is not given its space to be and I am missing out on other important things.