Do You Feel Like a Stranger to Yourself?

I think im mistaking D.i.D for D.p.D


 My therapist shared this with me and said it sounds more like my case so she is going to help me find a doctor that treats it and have him look at my case and see where the confusing on whats wrong with me at times.



Do You Feel Like a Stranger to Yourself?


An introduction to Depersonalization Disorder and its symptoms.


Posted Jul 21, 2011





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I am often asked, even by colleagues in the mental health field, "What is Depersonalization Disorder?" For doctors and patients alike, Depersonalization Disorder, or DPD, is somewhat mysterious and difficult to define. And yet, some researchers consider it to be the third most common mental disorder, after depression and anxiety. Several research studies indicate that more than half of college students have experienced elements of depersonalization at one time or another. And many creative people, such as Poe or Sartre, have suffered from it. Deuce Bigelow director Harris Goldberg explored his experiences of depersonalization in the movie Numb.


Depersonalization may happen when you first wake up, or while flying on an airplane. You may link it to acute trauma or years of chronic stress, or to nothing at all. Sometimes it happens after smoking marijuana or using "club drugs."


The first signs are often felt as a "mental break." Suddenly, inexplicably, something changes --- common objects and familiar situations seem strange or foreign, as if you've found yourself in an unfamiliar world. And at the same time you feel unreal, "not yourself." You close your eyes and turn inward, but the very thoughts running through your head seem different. Patients feel as if they have no self that formerly enabled them to deal with the world around them, and with their inner world. 


The most clinically true and psychologically sharp descriptions of depersonalization are those given by people with DPD. In his excellent book, Stranger to Myselfmedical journalist and DPD survivor Jeffrey Abugel summarizes eight symptoms a person with DPD may experience:


Feeling panic. When a person first experiences DPD, he often feels as if he is going mad.  Patients report feeling panic stricken, trapped "inside oneself" or thrown into an unfamiliar world they can't escape.


Lack of emotion. People with DPD describe feeling inhuman, like a robot or a rock. They experience a loss of spirit, "absence" of emotions, and no mood changes.


Feeling detached. People with DPD feel distant from others and themselves. Many describe the feeling of watching themselves, as if from above. Once-familiar objects seem strange.


Fixation/obsession. People with DPD repeatedly check their sanity. They sometimes fixate on the strangeness or foreignness of a single thought or object.


Abstract ruminating. People with DPD often dwell on the ideas of eternity and infinity. They think over and over about the nature of existence or the void and the dark mysteries of life.


Lifestyle changes. People with DPD are sometimes afraid to leave their houses or engage in activities that might trigger panic attacks. They stop traveling, talking to others, watching TV, even going to doctors.


Feeling possessed. People with DPD in some cases report feeling as if an evil entity has taken up residence inside their head, watching them and making negative comments.


Acting "as if." People with DPD suffer from not feeling that they are acting, but instead they have a strange feeling of "as-if acting." They feel that they "imitate" moods and expressions, as if trying to "act normal" around others. But they continue to feel like outsiders who aren't part of ordinary life.


Like many psychopathological signs, depersonalization can linger for years, go away, and then return. Some people with depersonalization sometimes suffer devastating consequences in their personal and professional lives, while others can continue to function fairly well while they seek treatment.


If you think you may have depersonalization, it is crucial to seek out a physician you feel attuned to, preferably one who has experience treating depersonalization, and in whom you have confidence. There are also good informational sites on the web where you can share your stories and get support from other DPD survivors. One of my favorites is an online community at www.depersonalization.info, hosted by the aforementioned author Jeffrey Abugel.






Depersonalization-derealization disorder













Overview


Depersonalization-derealization disorder occurs when you persistently or repeatedly have the feeling that you're observing yourself from outside your body or you have a sense that things around you aren't real, or both. Feelings of depersonalization and derealization can be very disturbing and may feel like you're living in a dream.


 

Many people have a passing experience of depersonalization or derealization at some point. But when these feelings keep occurring or never completely go away and interfere with your ability to function, it's considered depersonalization-derealization disorder. This disorder is more common in people who've had traumatic experiences.


Depersonalization-derealization disorder can be severe and may interfere with relationships, work and other daily activities. The main treatment for depersonalization-derealization disorder is talk therapy (psychotherapy), although sometimes medications also are used.


 

Symptoms


Persistent and recurrent episodes of depersonalization or derealization or both cause distress and problems functioning at work or school or in other important areas of your life. During these episodes, you are aware that your sense of detachment is only a feeling and not reality.


The experience and feelings of the disorder can be difficult to describe. Worry about "going crazy" can cause you to become preoccupied with checking that you exist and determining what's actually real.


Symptoms usually begin in the mid- to late teens or early adulthood. Depersonalization-derealization disorder is rare in children and older adults.


Depersonalization symptoms


Symptoms of depersonalization include:



  • Feelings that you're an outside observer of your thoughts, feelings, your body or parts of your body — for example, as if you were floating in air above yourself

  • Feeling like a robot or that you're not in control of your speech or movements

  • The sense that your body, legs or arms appear distorted, enlarged or shrunken, or that your head is wrapped in cotton

  • Emotional or physical numbness of your senses or responses to the world around you

  • A sense that your memories lack emotion, and that they may or may not be your own memories


Derealization symptoms


Symptoms of derealization include:



  • Feelings of being alienated from or unfamiliar with your surroundings — for example, like you're living in a movie or a dream

  • Feeling emotionally disconnected from people you care about, as if you were separated by a glass wall

  • Surroundings that appear distorted, blurry, colorless, two-dimensional or artificial, or a heightened awareness and clarity of your surroundings

  • Distortions in perception of time, such as recent events feeling like distant past

  • Distortions of distance and the size and shape of objects


Episodes of depersonalization-derealization disorder may last hours, days, weeks or even months at a time. In some people, these episodes turn into ongoing feelings of depersonalization or derealization that may periodically get better or worse.


When to see a doctor


Passing feelings of depersonalization or derealization are common and aren't necessarily a cause for concern. But ongoing or severe feelings of detachment and distortion of your surroundings can be a sign of depersonalization-derealization disorder or another physical or mental health disorder.


See a doctor if you have feelings of depersonalization or derealization that:



  • Are disturbing you or are emotionally disruptive

  • Don't go away or keep coming back

  • Interfere with work, relationships or daily activities



Causes


The exact cause of depersonalization-derealization disorder isn't well-understood. Some people may be more vulnerable to experiencing depersonalization and derealization than others, possibly due to genetic and environmental factors. Heightened states of stress and fear may trigger episodes.


Symptoms of depersonalization-derealization disorder may be related to childhood trauma or other experiences or events that cause severe emotional stress or trauma.


Risk factors


Factors that may increase the risk of depersonalization-derealization disorder include:



  • Certain personality traits that make you want to avoid or deny difficult situations or make it hard to adapt to difficult situations

  • Severe trauma, during childhood or as an adult, such as experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event or abuse

  • Severe stress, such as major relationship, financial or work-related issues

  • Depression or anxiety, especially severe or prolonged depression, or anxiety with panic attacks

  • Using recreational drugs, which can trigger episodes of depersonalization or derealization


Complications


Episodes of depersonalization or derealization can be frightening and disabling. They can cause:



  • Difficulty focusing on tasks or remembering things

  • Interference with work and other routine activities

  • Problems in relationships with your family and friends

  • Anxiety or depression

  • A sense of hopelessness






Replies

SimpsonsOK
SimpsonsOK

So Scotty, do you feel this fits you? I know I had several diagnoses before the cPTSD was recognized. All were valid, but stemmed from that one. As the article said, the depersonalization is rarely diagnosed. With you on this journey. Comforting hugs.
Osheana
Osheana

Hey Scotty.
Best of Luck to you on this journey, Much respect and well wishes hoping that your therapist find s a doctor that is well suited
and experienced and a great fit for you. I know that there is gold at the end of this rainbow just dont forget all the treasures to
pack up along the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : )

Most important You keep going kiddo and Break down All Barriers and Walls.

Peace Positive Vibes to Yield Excellent Results.

Also would like to take a moment to share that you pen the most impressive Journals as of late. Thanks always .


SHARING HEALS SHARING HEALS!!!!! S H A R I N G H E A L S !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SimpsonsOK
SimpsonsOK

Osheana, what an inspiring reply for any of us who read it. Thank you hug.
Ladybug7
Ladybug7

Hi Scotty...I sometimes have depersonalization as part of cPTSD. I know that you experienced a lot of childhood and other trauma. Has a pdoc ever evaluated you for PTSD? Wishing you the best in getting to the bottom of things! Hugs.
shadowlady
shadowlady

Hugs and prayers Scotty.
scottyb865
scottyb865

Well the SSA sent me a letter and said I was turned down for a forth time. I haven't even got to see their doctor or a judge idk what's going on
SimpsonsOK
SimpsonsOK

Scotty, showers of calming and comforting hugs coming your way. Folks I know that went in person to the office and requested help filling out the paperwork did best. Seems there are right and wrong answers. The folks working there know what the answers need to be. It will be honest reporting, just complicated on what to put where. It will happen.