Do You?
i would like to know if I am the only one who always has my son I lost on my mind...No matter what I am doing, or going or coming...always in my thoughts is my son Ken...
Is this normal...? I feel I will never feel true happiness again...It seems sadness is always felt right behind my eyes..
I have been told this weekend by two different friends two different things..
One that they think that I am more withdrawn...I am sure they are talking about since Ken passed away...
One says I seem to be more irritable..Geez I am thinking with what I have had going on in my life lately and the pain I have..I think they should be happy that I smile around them and talk..
I was thinking about three months ago, one of my above friends ex-sister-n-law lost her son...she called me all upset...crying...saying how upset her boys were...the thing that I noticed is that she only stayed upset maybe three weeks...then her life went back to normal..after all it was not her child...
I want to say these things to my friends...I want to say..don't you understand that I lost my son and it is nothing that I can just push away after a few weeks and just stop feeling the pain...but I don't
I just keep on..thinking I am doing the best I can..yet my thoughts are on Ken..maybe not always out on the surface...but always there..just wishing..yet knowing..it will not change...
Do you wonder how others view you? Do you think of your child everyday somewhere in your mind...maybe some days more out front and sometimes in the back of the mind but just always there...
It would be sorta nice if other's understood...but they can't as this is a pain, a feeling, a loss that only we who are going through it can feel...
I always wonder if I will ever feel real happiness..I don't know because my heart, my mind, my everything still just misses Ken so much...How can that ever change...I can not ever forget my son who left this world way way too soon...
Do You....Wonder as I do...how can it ever change....Yet life around me just keeps on going...Me, I am still missing..my son!!!!
Sandi
Is this normal...? I feel I will never feel true happiness again...It seems sadness is always felt right behind my eyes..
I have been told this weekend by two different friends two different things..
One that they think that I am more withdrawn...I am sure they are talking about since Ken passed away...
One says I seem to be more irritable..Geez I am thinking with what I have had going on in my life lately and the pain I have..I think they should be happy that I smile around them and talk..
I was thinking about three months ago, one of my above friends ex-sister-n-law lost her son...she called me all upset...crying...saying how upset her boys were...the thing that I noticed is that she only stayed upset maybe three weeks...then her life went back to normal..after all it was not her child...
I want to say these things to my friends...I want to say..don't you understand that I lost my son and it is nothing that I can just push away after a few weeks and just stop feeling the pain...but I don't
I just keep on..thinking I am doing the best I can..yet my thoughts are on Ken..maybe not always out on the surface...but always there..just wishing..yet knowing..it will not change...
Do you wonder how others view you? Do you think of your child everyday somewhere in your mind...maybe some days more out front and sometimes in the back of the mind but just always there...
It would be sorta nice if other's understood...but they can't as this is a pain, a feeling, a loss that only we who are going through it can feel...
I always wonder if I will ever feel real happiness..I don't know because my heart, my mind, my everything still just misses Ken so much...How can that ever change...I can not ever forget my son who left this world way way too soon...
Do You....Wonder as I do...how can it ever change....Yet life around me just keeps on going...Me, I am still missing..my son!!!!
Sandi
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