do I have the strength and courage
My nephew is staying here...I had to pick him up from detox from heroin addiction He is very sick
I went to my assessment last week and they wanted to admit me to detox right then. I could not as I have a job. I think I was feeling hopeful that help could be coming but I am having trouble figuring out how to disappear for 3-5 days. I'm on vacation in a couple of weeks so praying a bed will be available. Im going to call them today. Sorta cut down on my drinking this week but felt like shit....That terrible tight that is always in my chest..which I though was stress and anxiety is actually my body screaming for a drink or a zanax. I have learned so much this week from talking to nurses, Ben and reading online. And it makes me very scared. I have to go to detox and not quit without medical supervision
I need to go to an AA meeting but am so tired after another 12 hour day ....excuses
Yesterday I toke a whole Xanax and drank a bottle of wine but I sleep all night for the 1st time this week. I'm losing my courage and this is starting to fade away. I will call EAP again today to take and call the hospital for next steps.
I can't believe how supportive my family is being I had a glimmer of hope and peace and thought of the future that was not filled with death or sickness....I need to find that again
What will I gain from being sober...can I really do it?
Why do so many need to escape from reality and life?
What will I lose
being sick every morning
the tightness in my chest that is a constant chain
the shame
the feeling of being sooo out of control
I went to my assessment last week and they wanted to admit me to detox right then. I could not as I have a job. I think I was feeling hopeful that help could be coming but I am having trouble figuring out how to disappear for 3-5 days. I'm on vacation in a couple of weeks so praying a bed will be available. Im going to call them today. Sorta cut down on my drinking this week but felt like shit....That terrible tight that is always in my chest..which I though was stress and anxiety is actually my body screaming for a drink or a zanax. I have learned so much this week from talking to nurses, Ben and reading online. And it makes me very scared. I have to go to detox and not quit without medical supervision
I need to go to an AA meeting but am so tired after another 12 hour day ....excuses
Yesterday I toke a whole Xanax and drank a bottle of wine but I sleep all night for the 1st time this week. I'm losing my courage and this is starting to fade away. I will call EAP again today to take and call the hospital for next steps.
I can't believe how supportive my family is being I had a glimmer of hope and peace and thought of the future that was not filled with death or sickness....I need to find that again
What will I gain from being sober...can I really do it?
Why do so many need to escape from reality and life?
What will I lose
being sick every morning
the tightness in my chest that is a constant chain
the shame
the feeling of being sooo out of control
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