Divorce vs Widowhood

An idiot told me that divorce is harder than losing a spouse to death.  This person has never been widowed or divorced.  They're basing this on what they've seen from their divorced friends.  I didn't say anything.  I figured if she'd made it 56 years being dumb she was happy with it.  But here's my take on it and I'm sure yolu'll agree:  I've been both.  I divorced my late husband years ago and we remarried later.  One of the things a divorced person is allowed to do that a widowed person is not--they're allowed to stop loving their spouse.  We call it healing.  You can look at all their flaws and eventually come to the conclusion you're better off without them.  I think of the people I've known who had spouses that played around on  them and they loved them anyhow.  I didn't get the love part.  Anyhow when the spouse left, they were devastated, then all their friends rallied around them, telling them how they're better off without the guy.  Eventually, they came to the same conclusion and never looked back.
But if you're widowed, you still love the person.  A lot of the times you don't even know you're about to be split apart.  Few divorced people can say that.  They've got time to prepare.  Another thing.  Once your spouse dies, there's no chance of getting back together.  No councelors can  help you.  It's just over.  When my husband and I divorced we stayed friends, hanging out and still loving each other.  We got back together and stayed together because of the love.  And I knew as long as he was alive I will love him. 
But for the person who lost a spouse, well, it doesn't matter how much  you love.  It's over.   It's final.  And it takes your breath away.