Divorce SUCKS as a kid
hello I am a 16 year old girl who has recently had my parents go through a divorce. I am expected to be a perfect, emotionless object. I am a award that either my mom or dad will win, then used to hurt the loser, then be forgotten. I am expected to be perfect and keep my sister perfect. I am expected to never cry about my life getting ripped apart with no warning, put into a blender and then fed to sharks. Meanwhile I am expected to take it perfectly and be emotionless while being used to play catch. Going back and forth and back and forth endlessly between houses, wondering if my dad will get a job after 4 YEARS of looking, or if my mom will get up off the couch and help me with homework etc. it hurts, I cant sleep most nights cause I'm too busy crying(it's 2am when I wrote this), during the day I watch anime (Japanese cartoons) to numb my mind about the whole thing so I can be "perfect." I am so tired of talking abut the divorce and talking about how my dad is LEGIT INSANE! But deep down I can't help to think maybe if I had been a better daughter, if I had cleaned my room when told, if I had done my homework more, or get better grades on tests... that maybe things wouldn't have turned out like this...
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I'm a teen going through this right now too I feel like my world is crumbling down I feel like I have to be strong because, my parents can't be.
I am 13 and know exactly how you feel...I cry myself to sleep sometimes, and no one can see through my mask of a smile. I can't let them because I have to be strong for my little brother, If I break down I know he will, I threw p from stress once and told him it was from the dinner we had, and I feel like if i was the perfect daughter that my parents wanted, a sweet girly girl that loved princesses, a strict rule follower, then it would have been different.....But, the thing is, you can't go back in time. the truth is, things might never get better, its harsh, but i know i am tired of people lying and sugarcoating stuff, the best advice i can give you is to keep talking to people....it helps me to just get it out, idk if its the same for you, but, yeah, thats what i think. You are not alone.