Distractions aren't helping
I have been distracting myself with "friends" and it seems to help for short periods of time. Flirting with a woman at the gym or in the grocery store. Exchanging numbers and sending flirty texts to each other. Meeting up for coffee, etc. It keeps me busy.
TOTGTM lives in another city a safe distance away. She has moved back in with her ex bf and I left her alone for a very long time when that move was made. She contacted me at some point wondering why I was being so distant. At this point we are back to occasional texts about every other week. She has wanted to come out to see me for a long time. As much as I want to see her I have avoided that because I know it will open Pandora's box. She said she plans to visit her girlfriend, who lives in my state, anyway. She knows I wouldn't be able to stay away if she was only a few hours drive away.... those plans have not been finalized yet but she does what she says she will so it's just a matter of time. In the mean time my company needed to send someone down to her city, that is how we met, for four weeks. The decision of who to send was made before I could request the option to go. That is probably best..... It's as if my company knows it's not safe to send me on any business trips anymore. Which is absolutely true. I have now established long term distractions in almost every city my company has ever sent me to. Ugh.... All the while I just want to get my hands on TOTGTM.
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Oh man... I feel for you. I know that position well.
The aftermath of seeing each other is harrrrrd. Try to focus on that fact. No matter what happens, Pandora’s Box brings heartache and confusion. I’m still not sure I would make the same decision if I could go back to a month ago.
Who am I kidding - hell yes I would.
Hang in there, pal! :)
That sounds so fun...distractions in every city. I’d love that, so long as they only needed tending when I was around and not all the damn time. A dalliance in every port sounds like a life I could get behind.
This post sounds like my attempts to recover from TOTGTM.....flirting, texting with others, trying to forget. I met mine 18 months after it was over......bad idea. He wanted to get his hands on me. Knowing that I couldn't handle it, I said NO! You know as long as you maintain contact with TOTGTYou, you will never find peace. I remember about 3 yrs after my A was over I went a whole day without thinking of TOTGTM & it felt really good. I don't know about you but even now that mine is long overwith I still get anxious every time my phone pings a msg, my H might think it's "him". But I still think of him from time to time, only now it's with fond memories. Maybe it's my age but I'm ok with it.
You know you can't be friends with her. It's torturing you. Just let it go & in no time you will be much better & not even need those other distractions. Hugs.
Contact with the distractions comes and goes. We all have our own lives. I know NC is what is needed. I've known that for 4 years. Still can't seem to let her go.