Disorienting
The work on my sisters' house has been losing focus during the past couple or few days. In part it feels healthy for the upgrade project. Too much change too quickly not only wears out the workers, it disorients the entire system. Even the most beneficial of change is still disruptive of daily rhythms.
I am also feeling tugs to the life and ties I left in the Texas Boom chaos. I am still inclined to pull out of the Boom State and leave it to the newest boom trends, but even if I win that campaign, I still have both personal and generational loose ends in need of closure. I have to go back at some point.
I started an email exchange with hubs this morning. I still can't bear the thought of a phone call. Hearing and memory issues are a grossly unfair handicap in the domestic tit-for-tat skirmishes hubs and I have been having since my brother's death in January. Does my own estranged grief qualify as yet another handicap in those tit-for-tat skirmishes? I am hoping than an email exchange might even the playing field a bit. Just hoping. Worth a try?
The disorientation doesnae feel like a bad thing. Feels like a part of the process that will go easier if I work with it instead of fighting it.
Replies
For what it's worth? My now-antique copy of Marriage for Dummies said to write notes and letters to each other (which works nicely when updated to "e-mails" for me and Hubby). I've no idea what else to offer... Just puma support.
Yeah. Just... be disoriented. I always think people who are *grounded* and "oriented" in that kind of situation pay more, with more compound interest, later. They say when you're lost in the wild to sit still... till you regain a sense of 'orientation'. Works for me in "real" life (whatever that is).
Puma paw-bump.
I can relate to the feeling of disorientation more than ever now. Not sure if the "feeling" of numbness or the lack of is better or worse. Either way one goes it's what is going to be in the end that matters or will count in our own terms and level of understanding. Sending support. Take care.
If ". . .the feeling of numbness" is what I am calling, "dissociation," the dissociation is definitely worse in my psychosis. Dissociation is extremely tough for me to come back from. This disorientation feels like something that will pass in its own due time, if I stay open to possibilities.
Sure hope 'it came to pass and not to stay'....I like to write, save draft, then read again the next day...helps me to not "react"...take good self care...hope all will work, Serenity Prayer, please work your peace in Arfie's best interests...Hugs, ml