Discussion with Pdoc
Feel sick all the time. Barely sleeping or eating. Crying all the time. I feel dead, empty. Just don't want to hold on and wish I was dead. Started cutting on my legs so no one can see. I prefer my arms because it's easier to cut deeper.
Replies
I\'m so sorry you are feeling so bad. :( I wish I could say something to make you feel better because I think you really are a good person who like so many of us just can\'t catch a break when it comes to life. Hugs
Thank you Scott!! Being your friend helps me feel better. It is great to have a wonderful, caring friend like you!
So very sorry to hear you\'re still in such an awful place, you are not alone and others do \"get it\"!!!
(((((((((very gentle hugs))))))))
I wish I could pull you out of the pit you\'re in but that would require me to be out of the pit..little do you know that I am there with you & you\'re not by yourself..
John 14:27 \"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid\".
Mystie, I value your friendship and yet God values you far more. I care about how your doing and please know your cared for. Remember God created for you a purpose and although you feel like a loser, you are not Junk, you are created by God of everything, you are a blessing to me.
God gives me his peace and helps me enjoy my life more and although this has been a difficult time for me, God has helped me and in fact I am grateful for the Lord helping me see he love me more than I knew which is during the painful times, I hope you can know I speak with spooned tongued, as a aposed to forked one, only the Lord knows my heart 100%.
I can\'t talk you out of this terrible time, but I can be your friend since that\'s easy to do. My stuffies sent gentle hugs.
((((( Stuffie Hugs )))
Please don\'t stop sharing what your going through, all of us CARE!!!
Mystie, my x\'s daughter was cutting herself it hurts me so much to see someone do that. Please, before you cut contact me and let\'s talk.
Mystie - I used to cut (partly as it seemed to bring some relief and partly because I was angry at myself). The urge for an immediate answer and solution can be much stronger than the energy one needs to bypass that and head toward healthier land.
Thank you to all of you for your kind and caring words. I will send each of you an individual message to thank you personally.
I have promised my daughter I won\'t cut anymore...hard to do..but better for both of us. pdoc added two new meds so I am really hoping it helps get me out of ths dark place I am stuck in right now.
There are so many issues and problems in my life that I can\'t control and it doesn\'t help at all. I just feel so hopeless about life anymore. Doesn\'t help when certain family members tell my kids I\'m lazy, I don\'t do anything or amounted to anything. They think it\'s disgusting I\'m on disability for my mental heatlh.
I think you know full well how I feel about you! I care about you very much! You also know I have been in that same deep dark hole so I know how it feels. There have been times when I actualy prayed to die. I have also considered Taking a whole bottle of Oxy. BUT I am still here fighting like everything to get out of the depression, anxiety and super bad pain. I am going in for an epidural on my back on the 20th. Seems like the pain agrivates the GAD and depression. Then there is a whole list of other crap to deal with on a daily basis. I hope like everything those new meds your pdoc gave you gives you some relief some relief! Lord knows if anyone deserves some relief it is you! As always I am with you 100%. If those family members were going through what you are they woul sure as hell change their mind. They should be thankful it\'s not them!
Mystie, please don\'t thank me, I just wanted you to know others do care and \"get it\".
Making that promise to your daughter was wonderful, I know you\'d not do anything to let any of your children down.
As far as those other people and their negativity, I think your children can see that you are are none of those things and won\'t believe anything negative about you.
I hope and pray the new meds will make things better for you. I know it can take some time for them to kick in, just try to hang on til they do, ok?
Keep journaling, posting, pm\'ing, whatever will help you!!
Like Joey said, if anyone deserves some relief, it is you!!!
You are great noodlebg! I have started journaling again. It helps since I don\'t really have anyone to talk to. I just don\'t want my family snooping through it.
I can\'t break my promise to my daughter. I can\'t keep putting my kids through this hell. I am really hoping the newer meds will help, but as we know it can take 4-6 weeks
Joey thank you for being you!! You have been a great friend!! Please don\'t take your bottle of oxy. I know how much pain you are in.
I\'m going to catch up on your journals.