Discipline
I need structure in my life.
I have no boundaries.
If I want my mind to change I have to change my life.
If I want my life to change I have to change my mind.
Oh god no...Thats all I ever do is change my mind! I will think of something better later.
I need more discipline in my life. It is a word I have grown to hate but maybe, just like many things in my life at the moment, I do not understand what it means.
I think it means authority. regimented. conformed. These are the things my life has become without even realising it. I am going deeper and deeper into the dark voids and finding so much light within.
I have gone through the last 10 years doing whatever the hell I want. On sunny days I call in sick and go to the beach, if im unsupervised in work I sneak home for a couple of hours and watch TV, if I don't want to go to work anymore i quit, if I don't like the winter I leave for sunny climates elsewhere.
And im complaining why? Im not sure anymore. It sounds pretty good to me. There was a point. Oh yes the point is im never happy. Yes thats it. I do not do these things because its fun. I do it because I am scared. Im scared of life. Im scared of people. I like to hide. I like to run away from my problems. I have never faced any of my problems. I have never stood still long enough to see what my problems are. I need to be focused. I need to discipline myself.
Set sleep patterns
Set daily exercise
Set meditation
I am proud that for the last year I have been eating very healthy foods, I quit smoking and I only drink on special occasions. Eight months not smoking! Go me!
I need to achieve a goal. I need to find something I enjoy and set myself a target. I have lost count of the times I said I was going to learn a language. I can say basic phrases in seven different languages but then I get bored and give up learning.
Hopefully I will find something soon and set myself a goal!
I have no boundaries.
If I want my mind to change I have to change my life.
If I want my life to change I have to change my mind.
Oh god no...Thats all I ever do is change my mind! I will think of something better later.
I need more discipline in my life. It is a word I have grown to hate but maybe, just like many things in my life at the moment, I do not understand what it means.
I think it means authority. regimented. conformed. These are the things my life has become without even realising it. I am going deeper and deeper into the dark voids and finding so much light within.
I have gone through the last 10 years doing whatever the hell I want. On sunny days I call in sick and go to the beach, if im unsupervised in work I sneak home for a couple of hours and watch TV, if I don't want to go to work anymore i quit, if I don't like the winter I leave for sunny climates elsewhere.
And im complaining why? Im not sure anymore. It sounds pretty good to me. There was a point. Oh yes the point is im never happy. Yes thats it. I do not do these things because its fun. I do it because I am scared. Im scared of life. Im scared of people. I like to hide. I like to run away from my problems. I have never faced any of my problems. I have never stood still long enough to see what my problems are. I need to be focused. I need to discipline myself.
Set sleep patterns
Set daily exercise
Set meditation
I am proud that for the last year I have been eating very healthy foods, I quit smoking and I only drink on special occasions. Eight months not smoking! Go me!
I need to achieve a goal. I need to find something I enjoy and set myself a target. I have lost count of the times I said I was going to learn a language. I can say basic phrases in seven different languages but then I get bored and give up learning.
Hopefully I will find something soon and set myself a goal!
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