Discipline

I had a lot of discipline before my relapse. It's mostly gone now and depression says "why bother?" I do have a goal to brush up on my calculus skills so I can tutor and to learn chemistry for the same reason. I'm motivated, highly, to do this because 1) i need the money and 2) my brain can't hear the voices when I'm working out calculus problems.
 
Had weird dreams last night. woke up in a lousy mood. My mother is on me about a loan she cosigned. I don't have the money to pay it back (lost my job during the relapse, now making about 12k less than before.) so I have to figure something out while dealing with depression and my lost discipline issue. 
 
If I could only remember that being a little uncomfortable in the short run means being more comfortable in the long run...