disaster zone

omg. to say that your surroundings change the dynamic of what goes in your mind is an understatement. 

my kitchen is a disaster.... crap, cups, paint, paint brushes left out and soaked in paint, paint rollers in buckets full of ick. empty cola cups. hoses. messy ripped tape and plastic. paint drop. paint on my floor. paint on my backsplash... omg. it's a fucking mess. 

i have never made that kind of mess w/ my house while working on a project. it has made me virtually sick at my stomach. i am about to throw up as i speak. i don't know if i an even think about it any more.

i am trying to invision it completely finished... and not remember the mess that they are making. 

i ddi not see this when they were working on my floors adn when c and m were putting in the kitchen floor they worked very very neatly. this has been completely different.

and w/ s having surgery last week... i am sick at my stomach and have terrible indigestion. i don't know. i've never experienced anything like this. 

they will work until late tonight and then do some touch up tomorrow. i am just ready to get in there and do some cleaning. i can't wait until they get their painting shit out of there... 

this whole thing has made me feel sick . i am having to eat my words about what j said to me about when they remodeled her house. omg. i am having to eat crow... i guess i need to stop my judging of what other ppl experience. 

something just hit me this afternoon. i ate fast food this morning and that didn't help. i know that is not helping at all. maybe it's more that than i realize. whatever it is... i have to stop... and i am just so stressed. 

no more house projects for a long while ... i just can't handle them right now. only small ones. 

OK. just talked to a friend and she felt the same way when she had her house remodeled... i'm glad it's not just me. 

but i either need to throw up or stop feeling this way... ugh.