Disappointment From Dad...
My BD promised my kids he would be here for Christmas and he is flaking on them.. I wish it didnt bother me so much but I hate for them to be disappointed by thier own father.. Makes me sick.. Makes me want to bury him.. I'm going to try to make this Christmas an awesome one for them.. My daughter is disappointed but hopefully I can make her feel better.. I got almost everything on her Christmas list, I got tons of stuff for cookie baking, and tomorrow I'm going to take the kids to an amusement park for thier holiday festival. Just in case BD ever tires to manipulate his way back into my life (I'm sure he will) I want to be able to look back on this entry and remember how many times he has let us down. I cant let him make me feel sorry for him like he always ends up doing. It's become a cycle of abuse.
I'm proud of myself for going this long with no contact.. It's been since October 30. I am excited for the new year.. One of my resolutions is going to be to not allow him back in my life. Not even as a friend. We have tried to be "just friends" before and it has never worked.. We always end up flirting or getting back together. I dont want that anymore. I need to be strong. I need him to know I am serious about him respecting me and that I'm not going to put up with abuse. It's going to be a long time (if ever) before we can try to be friends for the kids. It's just the way it has to be..
I got some books from the library to help keep my mind occupied.. A novel, an autobiography, and two parenting books.. One is about raising strong daughters, and the other is about single parenting a son..
I just finished up my Christmas shopping and now I have a lot of wrapping to do. I am beyond greatful for all that I have.. I thought we weren't going to have much for Christmas because things were not working out for me financially, but a few days ago I got $1300.00 for going to school plus $375 in food stamps.. I was able to get everything we needed. Thank you Lord!
I have been thinking about goals for next year.. Some of the things I am thinking are:
1: try harder in school and get all As and Bs
2: get over BD for good
3. Lose 15 pounds before summer
4: Find a new job
5: Save $ regularly
6: Take a vacation somewhere
I MUST STAY FOCUSED AND GRATEFUL!!!
I'm proud of myself for going this long with no contact.. It's been since October 30. I am excited for the new year.. One of my resolutions is going to be to not allow him back in my life. Not even as a friend. We have tried to be "just friends" before and it has never worked.. We always end up flirting or getting back together. I dont want that anymore. I need to be strong. I need him to know I am serious about him respecting me and that I'm not going to put up with abuse. It's going to be a long time (if ever) before we can try to be friends for the kids. It's just the way it has to be..
I got some books from the library to help keep my mind occupied.. A novel, an autobiography, and two parenting books.. One is about raising strong daughters, and the other is about single parenting a son..
I just finished up my Christmas shopping and now I have a lot of wrapping to do. I am beyond greatful for all that I have.. I thought we weren't going to have much for Christmas because things were not working out for me financially, but a few days ago I got $1300.00 for going to school plus $375 in food stamps.. I was able to get everything we needed. Thank you Lord!
I have been thinking about goals for next year.. Some of the things I am thinking are:
1: try harder in school and get all As and Bs
2: get over BD for good
3. Lose 15 pounds before summer
4: Find a new job
5: Save $ regularly
6: Take a vacation somewhere
I MUST STAY FOCUSED AND GRATEFUL!!!
Replies
aw awesome! I manages to get my kids alot too and am so happy....I work FT and luckily lots of people going on vacations enabled me to take home better checks! Hope your kids have a very merry christmas and not so awesome on the BD part:(
Thank u!! Hope u have a merry Christmas too!