Disappointing God

(Where's the philosophical option for the entry type?)
Had an emotional breakdown today. Was practicing the piano, started banging real hard. Thought I broke a key! It's not sticking now so I think it's okay. I picked up the piano (it's digital - size of a keyboard) and threw it on the coffee table, then kicked the kitchen chairs around. Then cried, then kicked the chairs some more. Then put everything back in order.
Came to the realization that I feel bad because I know my mom feels disappointed about something. I can't change it, but it has to do with me, so I feel guilty or whatever. They say we tranfer our feelings towards our parents towards God, because as a child our parents are like god. I don't want to disappoint God. Which means doing anything less then devoting myself fulling to His service is unacceptable. Right now my health is so bad I have to focus on myself... in order to get better to serve Him.
Can we disappoint God? What disappoints God? How are we supposed to respond to God's feelings of disappointment? Would spending my life in a cute little home in the suburbs teaching piano disappoint him rather than choosing to give my life to service overseas? I don't want that look of disappointment - "You could've done better."



praying for you x

Have to share this reply I got elsewhere \"That God should be disappointed means that God does not know everything. He thought we would do one thing and then we went and did another!! NO, that won\'t ever happen. God doesn\'t expect anything. He knows everything in advance with 100% certainty. Nothing you have ever done or will do catches him by surprise.\"

Jesus said he is not looking for us to have a religion about Him as much as He is looking to have a personal relationship with each of us individually. It is in Matthew if you want me to provide the exact verses. So what this boils down to is that if you boil the entire Bible down to a few statements of what God wants from us, it is for each of us to have unconditional trust in His plan for our individual lives, that He can make each of us in to something more then we ever could have perceived possible, and for us to just accept the love He is giving to us and express gratitude for His love. In general, the following Christian song says better then anything I have heard how God feels about us:

By Your Side

Just finished the book \"Only You can be You\" and it talks about how our culture lies by saying you can be anything you want to be. God made you for a specific purpose, specific purposes, and not just to be anything you want to be. It says the things in your life that God seems to be blessing through everyday ordinary signs, which are from God (and conversely things the devil seems to be bothering you about) is what God is calling you to do, and perhaps that is teaching piano. It says if there are things in your life that seem to be frustrating you no matter what you seem to do, that God is not blessing it and it is something you may want consider either giving it up or strongly alter the course you are taking, basically to let go and let God
( frustrations perhaps such as always trying to be pleasing to your parents). It is a great book and I would highly suggest reading it.

I am also in a small group on Christian Boundaries and it talks about all the various relationships important to all of us and how boundaries are critical to the well being of those relationships and how God created boundaries for Himself and for each of us and so how boundaries are beneficial to us. It talks about how we are responcible to those we are in relationship with(considering them and their feelings), but not responcible for them including not responcible for their feelings, that each of us is responsible for our own feelings. So it is basically saying that if your mother feels disappointed it is something within her that is causing her feelings of disappointment, something she is responcible for dealing with on her own and not something you need to change.

Wish you well my fellow survivor,

isnt it great that God loves us no matter what? that He knows we are not perfect, that is why he sent His Son Jesus to die for us. We learn from our mistakes, they make us stronger and we move on. We are His chilfren, and I know when my children do something I dont agree with we talk about it, my love for them NEVER ends, God loves us each inifinirt tines infinity more. What a Heavenly Fathef!! wooohoooo im so comforted in thst knowledge otherwise i KNOW i would be a mess, Talk to him like your bestfriend that is what he wants, a personal relationship with us.

I believe God created us for happiness peace and love to share with every human being we come into contact with...but most importantly...with ourselves. Are we able to give it and receive it all of the time?...ugh no! Those are the times of doubt, fear and insecurity which we all have experienced from time to time, some more than others. ( I cannot tell you how many computer mouses I have thrown at the wall.)

In those time of external emotional rage it is of great advantage to quiet down, sit silent and venture inside of yourself. Past the mind and all of the thoughts that would like you to think \"how inadequate you are.\" Lies, lies, lies...

Everything we go through in our lives bring us closer to our understanding of peace and happiness which allows us to genuinely give and receive love from a place that is not filled with all of the thoughts that keep us in bondage of who we were meant to be. That is what I think God is all about.

Ya know I\'m a mom and I must admit there have been times that I thought \"Gee, my daughter can do better than that.\" And with the next thought I would say \"Who in the hell am I to judge how she chooses to arrange this or any circumstance in her life!\" And then I think \"thank you God\" for giving me such a wonderful daughter and allowing me to love her and share moments that make a difference in our lives for the short time we are given to live on this planet. As parents we have an opportunity to raise our children with the best possible values that we alone possess allowing our children a firm foundation in which to choose for themselves and base their choices on. Not all parents do this, which can leave a gaping hole in the child who is struggling to find his or her own way. It doesn\'t mean you have to be a victim...it just means you have to look harder, longer and deeper in your world to seek the answers you are looking for. You can look at that as something challenging or as an \"adventure\" as you are guiding your own light on the path of your own life...how exciting. BTW, I took Piano for 5 years and all I can play is \"Moon River\" ha ha

My mother would have never won the \"mother of the year\" award but I realized early on in life that it was my life to do as I did...and many times what I did was not great...but everything I did...EVERYTHING I learned a life lesson from. In my case, the more I suffered from my mistakes the more I learned the lesson and the larger my blessings became over the years. It is true that unless you run your life like a robot, we do transfer our feeling to the people whom we love or think we love and trust the most, which sometimes can be a big disappointment. Disappointment comes from negative thoughts...not from God.

Follow your heart, go with your innermost feeling and when in doubt...sit silent and pray. That alone will release you from the negative belief systems you have become so familiar with and allow you to get a clear vision as to what your future could, can and will be...

Happy trails girl...you have an exciting road to romp down...L

I don\'t think it is possible to disappoint God! For one thing, He is not only in control, He knows everything, because He is above time, and creation. That means, if you love Him, and are one of His children, He already knew before the foundation of the earth, you would be in this place! He still loves you.

Two favorite scriptures are:
Romans 5:1-3 \"And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. This hope does not disappoint, because God\'s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.\"

Romans 8:34-37 \"Who is the one who condemns?
Christ Jesus is the One who died, but even more, has been raised;
He also is at the right hand of God and intercedes for us.
Who can separate us from the love of Christ?
Can affliction or anguish or persecution
or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
36 As it is written:
Because of You we are being put to death all day long;
we are counted as sheep to be slaughtered.
37 No, in all these things we are more than victorious
through Him who loved us.\"
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life,
nor angels nor rulers,
nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,
39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing
will have the power to separate us
from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord!\"

I think you are feeling condemned because you are sick. Everyone gets sick, or loses a loved one, and 100% of us die someday. The Bible addresses this issue, over and over, but we don\'t seem to hear it preached or taught enough. I sit at home and play and teach flute. Does God condemn me?

Romans 1:8 \"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.\" No, he loves me, doesn\'t condemn me. Read all of Romans 8. Before Christmas I did a 20 page paper on the Problem of Pain and Suffering. I came to the conclusion that suffering is Biblical, and that God loves us. Read Job. It is an amazing story of suffering. I was called to be a missionary, and didn\'t go. Now I can never go, because of my health problems. But I am closer to God than ever before. Rest assured, He understands, and He loves you. Maybe all He wants you to do is just grow in character and love for Him. We can all do that!

Sorry for preaching, but my heart goes out to your pain.