Dinner...

I have to go to dinner at my sister's place and it's a heavy meal. I'm not sure how I'm gonna get away with making it look like I am eating way more than I am. My sister watches me to make sure I don't purge...
I am seriously hoping I can maintain my resistance to cutting. If I am awake I'm thinking about me hurting myself. I don't want to go back to the hospital. I've been in the hospital mental ward 7 times in 8 months. Both my parents have jobs now so I can't go to the hospital because mom would have to quit her job to come to my place and take care of him while I go in. They recommended a day treatment last time but I can't because my one of my parents would have to be out of work while I attended the treatment.
I'll write more later...
Steph