dilemma

I am going through a huge Dillema. I should move back to california for medical reasons. I need to have medical insurance because of meds and medical reasons. I am dating guy who most of the time drives me.Not in a good way. Due to some issues of sewage at my apartment I am living with him. He wants me to move in permanently. I care about him but I am still in love with my ex who I left and felt the need to move far from him. He is not abusive. just has walls. He wrote me awhile ago saying he will love me to the day he dies. But he did not think that we could ever get together again. I miss him terribly at times. During my time away I learned to understand his fear of giving his self completely. I learned because I dated people including the one I am with now and I have walls. So I finally wrote him back telling him that I still and always love him and understand the not getting back together. We now each have trust issues. He was warming up to me being back in Eureka. He said it would be hard if he saw me he would want me back. I apologized about not understanding his walls. Anyway I started calling my friend, our friends explaining the need to find a place to stay til I found an apartment of my own. Because medical needs is the true reason for moving....I was afraid to move close to him bit I need medical, need to be back with my groups and counselor and friends. Support group. I have realized that I did not just leave him I left all the encouragement. One of our friends said that if I could not find anyother place I could stay with him but he wanted to talk to my ex. His fanily and friends keep in touch with me often. So he called Kevin and talked to him. Kevin then wroe me and told me that he felt I was stalking him by talking to our friends and family which hurt because they call me. I try not to cause problems. He said that he now knew I was seeing someone and that ruined everything. He told me to never talk to friends and family. So do I reject them. My feelings were so hurt by the stalker thing that I changed my mind about moving. But its what I need to do. This is fucked....But the good news was that he reminded me of how he used to be. I need help thinking this out.....