Different
This was a strange day (4-19-08). In fact this whole time of coming off a binge was different from any that I have had in the past. I have had a very strange sense of calm about things. I haven't beaten myself up like I did in the past. Could it be growth or something else? I wonder. I have been angry for stupidly picking up the bottle when I had the tools to use to prevent this. I know there are people that were hurt and disappointed in me because of my drinking again. I feel bad because of that. I want to fix it but I know I can't. The only hope I have of regaining that trust, if it can even happen, is to stay sober and prove to them that I am done drinking. I guess I will just have to see what happens and hope for the best.
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