Didnt get to say goodbye

Last year was difficult. I had lost a family friend who might as well be my family. My uncle John. My uncle was so good to my sister and i. He let us stay with him when we didnt have a place to go, he bought me a hair dryer for a birthday present and when my sister and i were at our dads for the weekend, we always go to our wonder uncle john. When i found out he had a heart attack and and passed away i was in complete shock, and hurting because i never got to say goodbye, he lived in another state and i lived in another state. I wanted to be at his funeral and i couldnt. I will never get the chance to tell him i miss him and i'm so grateful for what he has done for my sister and I. Sometimes i think he wouldnt be proud of me because i'm not in school right now, and didnt do well but in my heart i know he is.  I have a picture of me when i was young and i was sitting on  his pool table in the living room and i'm just smiling and even striking a pose, it made me laugh. I had a bad childhood but he made it seem not so horrible. I wish he was here. I wish my uncle was here. I need his guidance, his advice. Thankyou for the memories uncle.! :)