Didn't sleep well last night

Last night T stayed at a friend's house and J is away for the weekend.  And husband and I are home.  We were supposed to stay at our friend's cottage who offered it up to us but we waited to long to confirm so we ended at home last night.  Today, however, we will be heading down there and will be spending the night.  I need a get-away.   Last night I kept waking up and kept having a difficult time going back to sleep.  And, of course, J was on my mind when I awoke each time. Part of it is -- my husband and I haven't talked about what we're going to do, yet.  I know I'll have to be the one to bring it up because he is very good at pretending everything is okay.  He doesn't like to deal with these kind of things.  Who does?  I hope to talk about before we go away, however.  I have a feeling we are not going to be on the same page as we should.  I will pray extra prayers in church today for some guidance. Here are my thoughts about how we will approach J. First, we need to tell him that we are very aware that he is using and dealing drugs.  We know he's been selling pain medication, the Adderall I filled for him, and pot.  We are also aware that he attempted to smoke pot in front of T earlier this summer!  We need to emphasize that no matter how much he denies it - we know.  We know he's not telling the truth.   Second, we need to tell him that drugs of any kind will NOT be tolerated in our home - especially since his younger brother is in recovery and we don't want anything to jeopardize his sobriety that he's worked so hard for.   Third, because we know that drug behavior has been going on under our roof and because we will not tolerate it in any shape or form, we are going to make a very strong stance and follow through with it if this behavior continues.   Fourth, we will tell him we love him very, very much but we cannot, under any circumstances, allow drug usage, or any other drug behavior,  in our home. Having said that we are going to place some conditions on him that he has to follow through on or we will not be paying his tuition nor will he be able to live here anymore.   1.  He has to agree to a drug assessment - ASAP.  We need to know if he truly needs help or not.  Tuition is due now so I want to get him in before we write the check. 2.  We will periodically drug test him to make sure he's remaining clean.   3.  For his prescribed Adderall for school - we'll decide based on the last two rules - will determine how we handle them. I hope my husband agrees to these.  I think that's why I'm anxious.  If he were stronger in this area - I would feel more confident.  It's been weighing heavily on my mind because I know what can happen.  I don't want this to get as bad as it did with T and THEN we will have to face it.   It figures - this happened two years ago - just before college started.  He was arrested two days before going off to school. Talk about a waste of money, too.  All he did was party.  I don't want a repeat.   My husband's mom was a full blown alcoholic when he was growing up (sobered up about 6 years before I met him) and, I believe, he dealt with it by staying away from home.  He's very good at pretending everything is alright and not dealing with it.  Fortunately, he wasn't affected by this behavior like so many other adult children I know.  For that I'm grateful for.