Did it again.......

Yesterday T was the charmer.  I thought he was "getting it" and I was starting to see an improvement in his attitude.  He was actually kinda pleasant until he asked me if I'd take him to get his drivers permit and in the same breath asked me to turn his cell back on.  First I complimented him on his better attitude - coming home at a reasonable time -- but told him it would be another week before he earns it back.  "A WEEK, I CAN'T WAIT A WEEK!!!'  So he leaves and didn't come home last night and didn't make it to school.  The driver came to pick him up and he was a no show.  Baby, Baby.   I told my husband that he HAD TO TALK TO HIM.  The talk didn't quite go as I had hoped - it was more yelling and venting (understandable) but maybe T had to see and hear my husband upset?  Maybe he got across to him in some way?   I also know that , although my husband didn't say it, directly, he blames me, for T-Man's behavior because I was responsible for turning  off his phone.  He said whenever T's cell is turned off he runs amuck.  Well?  Didn't he beforehand?   At this point - although I intend to keep his phone off for awhile - must see an attitude change - we will have to move to the next level.   

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

So is the \"no phone for X time period\" an agreed to consequence; if not should it be? It sounds like the 2 of you need an agreed to plan of action/list of consequences......with a poster size copy for T. Monday morning quarterbacking is so not helpful!! .At least there is no school over the weekend. Hope you find something fun to do!! Take Care!!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hugs to you!! This same scenerio played out with my son. Soooo frustrating. stay strong and take care of yourself.
deleted_user
deleted_user

When it all boils down, you are still the Mother and deserve the respect you raised T. to have. If he\'s living in your house at 18, hasn\'t got a job to support or help pay for the phone, well, life sucks. He needs to accept his actions and be responsible for them. Good luck.
mgs1
mgs1

Does he have a set of chores he is responsible for and curfew?
Not coming home should carry a big consequence.
Have a good weekend.
Hugs!
deleted_user
deleted_user

By staying strong and implementing consequences you are teaching him responsibility for his actions which is great. It\'s not easy to life through though but you are his parent, even though he is an adult, and need to set and maintain healthy boundaries. Good luck!