Diary Instalment: 4th/5th May 2014
4th/5th May 2014
Wokie Up: 4th May, 11:30amSlept At: 5th May, 1:40am
Mum An Dad Took Tegan Home, I Wokie Up An Went On Mai Laptop, Lady GaGa Starts Her artRAVE Tour Todai, Im Excited To See People's Videos Of It. Edited Mai Welcome To My World Episode, Here's The Link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8St3noMDMw
Went Outside And Sat In The Sun, Then Played XBOX With Dad For Abit. Yesterday There Was A Rat On Our Garden (See Welcome To My World Episode) An We Think It Was Poisoned, So We Put A Bucket Ova It Cause It Was Still Alive, I Felt Bad. We Took The Bucket Off Of It Todai, The Rat Was Dead.. :(
Im Really Missing Louise So I Decided To Try An Make It Back To How We Was.
Radocto:Heyy
Louise:So I see you've found some free time to 'pencil me in'
We Argued A Hell Of Alot :(
Radocto:Yea I Got Angry An Said Some Mean Things But Thats Because I Care About You Alott
Louise:Well didnt you see in my messages that I like talking to you, when you sent that message I thought. Great another name I can add to the list of friendships that I've fucked up
Radocto:I Dunno What Else To SayBut Im Sorry For What I Said
Louise:I dunno what to say either. That little message was a stab to the chest
Radocto:Kinda Like Your Messages Right Now
Louise:how are my messages a stab to the chest?
Radocto:Cause You Dont Seem To Wanna Forgive
Skip Through To Later Messages.
Louise:You told me I was distracting you and that you would pencil me in. I was waiting for you to message first. I'm sorry I'm being all bitchy. (I can be a lot worse and towards my brother I can be violent) sorry tho. arguing isn't getting us anywhere
Radocto:I Know Lets Stop :/
Louise:Okay
Didnt Really Talk Much After That, She Went Offline. Got Depressed So Just Played Some Online Pool/Snooker, Didnt Really Focus On What Ball I Was Hitting Tho, Was In A Daze. She Talked About How Many Guys She Hung Around With Recently, I Felt Even More Depressed An Jealous Then :( So I Went An Played Mai Piano, Really Feeling Horrible. Sat In Mai Swingy Chair In Silence Then Layed With Candy.
Louise:I want my brain to blow up so I can't think any longer!!!!!!!! I'm such a fuck up!!!!!! I always say the wrong things and ruin stuff!!!!!
Radocto:What Happened?
Louise:Shit I don't think I can explain to you! because i think it will really really hurt you. God I'm such a fucking slag!!!!! Sophie was right!!!!
Radocto:Tell Me
Louise:Ah fuck idk!!
Radocto:Go On...
Louise:basically you remember that guy that I told you about that I haven't spoken to in like a month and we use to just make out? well that's the guy that I met up with on Friday...
Radocto:Okai
Louise:and... Umm.... Yeah... Umm...... We did have a 20 min make out section ...but me n Sophie met this guy today when we went out with the guys and he added us on fb and he said that same things to me as he did to Sophie (but he was really cute) N I practically just turned him down n said that I sorta liked the guy that I met up with on Friday.
Radocto:Can You Stop
Louise:Yeah I will stop nowYou see now I feel even worse because now I've hurt you and I feel like even more crap...
Radocto:Why The Fuck Did You Bring That Up?
Louise:because you're so nice and I've ruined another thingshit you never swear....
Radocto:Well If It Isnt Obviously I REALLY Like You An That Really Really Hurt, As If I Wasent Feeling Like Shit Already
Louise:fuck!!!! This is what I mean. I fuck everything up with my stupid words. This is why I stay quiet all the time and think of dying because I'm just destroy everything.SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!Fuck I knew i should havent met up with him!! I know he's no good for me!!!And the worst thing about it all was that I was told that I should just not do anything bcoz he's a druggie and shit and now I have myself in even more shit and have now ruined us again. See everything is my fault!!!I want to smash my head against a wall and die. I'm no good for anything! Would be best for everyone
Chat conversation end. 00:21.
I Literally Felt Mai Heart Rip Into Pieces, I Removed Her As A Friend And Blocked Her. I Am Having No More Romantic Interests In Anyone For A Very Long Time. Worn Out At Mai Existence, Natalie Messaged Me Saying Louise Wanted To Talk But I Changed The Topic An Didnt Speak About Louise. Chatted To Natalie For A While, She Kept Mai Mood Stable While I Listened To Some Lady GaGa (Swine) Loud To Block The Silence. I Played Three Songs At Once Until Mai Head Felt Like It Would Burst, Then Sat Silently. An Then I Cried A Little Bit. Then I Played The Board Game "The Simpsons: Dont Panic" By Myself.. I Lost.
I Seen Louise Had Messaged Me On Littlemonsters.com.
Louise (12:53am):Rad can you please talk to me xxxx
Radocto (1:14am):No I Dont Wanna Talk To You Anymore, Leave Me Alone
Louise: (1:51am):Never mind. Okay then
I Went To Sleep.
Wokie Up: 4th May, 11:30amSlept At: 5th May, 1:40am
Mum An Dad Took Tegan Home, I Wokie Up An Went On Mai Laptop, Lady GaGa Starts Her artRAVE Tour Todai, Im Excited To See People's Videos Of It. Edited Mai Welcome To My World Episode, Here's The Link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8St3noMDMw
Went Outside And Sat In The Sun, Then Played XBOX With Dad For Abit. Yesterday There Was A Rat On Our Garden (See Welcome To My World Episode) An We Think It Was Poisoned, So We Put A Bucket Ova It Cause It Was Still Alive, I Felt Bad. We Took The Bucket Off Of It Todai, The Rat Was Dead.. :(
Im Really Missing Louise So I Decided To Try An Make It Back To How We Was.
Radocto:Heyy
Louise:So I see you've found some free time to 'pencil me in'
We Argued A Hell Of Alot :(
Radocto:Yea I Got Angry An Said Some Mean Things But Thats Because I Care About You Alott
Louise:Well didnt you see in my messages that I like talking to you, when you sent that message I thought. Great another name I can add to the list of friendships that I've fucked up
Radocto:I Dunno What Else To SayBut Im Sorry For What I Said
Louise:I dunno what to say either. That little message was a stab to the chest
Radocto:Kinda Like Your Messages Right Now
Louise:how are my messages a stab to the chest?
Radocto:Cause You Dont Seem To Wanna Forgive
Skip Through To Later Messages.
Louise:You told me I was distracting you and that you would pencil me in. I was waiting for you to message first. I'm sorry I'm being all bitchy. (I can be a lot worse and towards my brother I can be violent) sorry tho. arguing isn't getting us anywhere
Radocto:I Know Lets Stop :/
Louise:Okay
Didnt Really Talk Much After That, She Went Offline. Got Depressed So Just Played Some Online Pool/Snooker, Didnt Really Focus On What Ball I Was Hitting Tho, Was In A Daze. She Talked About How Many Guys She Hung Around With Recently, I Felt Even More Depressed An Jealous Then :( So I Went An Played Mai Piano, Really Feeling Horrible. Sat In Mai Swingy Chair In Silence Then Layed With Candy.
Louise:I want my brain to blow up so I can't think any longer!!!!!!!! I'm such a fuck up!!!!!! I always say the wrong things and ruin stuff!!!!!
Radocto:What Happened?
Louise:Shit I don't think I can explain to you! because i think it will really really hurt you. God I'm such a fucking slag!!!!! Sophie was right!!!!
Radocto:Tell Me
Louise:Ah fuck idk!!
Radocto:Go On...
Louise:basically you remember that guy that I told you about that I haven't spoken to in like a month and we use to just make out? well that's the guy that I met up with on Friday...
Radocto:Okai
Louise:and... Umm.... Yeah... Umm...... We did have a 20 min make out section ...but me n Sophie met this guy today when we went out with the guys and he added us on fb and he said that same things to me as he did to Sophie (but he was really cute) N I practically just turned him down n said that I sorta liked the guy that I met up with on Friday.
Radocto:Can You Stop
Louise:Yeah I will stop nowYou see now I feel even worse because now I've hurt you and I feel like even more crap...
Radocto:Why The Fuck Did You Bring That Up?
Louise:because you're so nice and I've ruined another thingshit you never swear....
Radocto:Well If It Isnt Obviously I REALLY Like You An That Really Really Hurt, As If I Wasent Feeling Like Shit Already
Louise:fuck!!!! This is what I mean. I fuck everything up with my stupid words. This is why I stay quiet all the time and think of dying because I'm just destroy everything.SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!Fuck I knew i should havent met up with him!! I know he's no good for me!!!And the worst thing about it all was that I was told that I should just not do anything bcoz he's a druggie and shit and now I have myself in even more shit and have now ruined us again. See everything is my fault!!!I want to smash my head against a wall and die. I'm no good for anything! Would be best for everyone
Chat conversation end. 00:21.
I Literally Felt Mai Heart Rip Into Pieces, I Removed Her As A Friend And Blocked Her. I Am Having No More Romantic Interests In Anyone For A Very Long Time. Worn Out At Mai Existence, Natalie Messaged Me Saying Louise Wanted To Talk But I Changed The Topic An Didnt Speak About Louise. Chatted To Natalie For A While, She Kept Mai Mood Stable While I Listened To Some Lady GaGa (Swine) Loud To Block The Silence. I Played Three Songs At Once Until Mai Head Felt Like It Would Burst, Then Sat Silently. An Then I Cried A Little Bit. Then I Played The Board Game "The Simpsons: Dont Panic" By Myself.. I Lost.
I Seen Louise Had Messaged Me On Littlemonsters.com.
Louise (12:53am):Rad can you please talk to me xxxx
Radocto (1:14am):No I Dont Wanna Talk To You Anymore, Leave Me Alone
Louise: (1:51am):Never mind. Okay then
I Went To Sleep.
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