Determined to TRY to have a GOOD and POSITIVE DAY !

I'm so tired of HIM bringing Me down SO OFTEN ! FOR ONCE... at least TODAY, I want to have a 100% GOOD DAY ! I don't think that's too much to want... not too much to ask for. I know deep down that I deserve it, no matter how much sometimes He tries to make Me feel like I don't deserve ANYTHING !I've been thinking this over for a couple of days now. Since Ray / My BF decided to make His Tagged.com Site PRIVATE in order to assure that I'm BLOCKED from even seeing what SLUTS He has listed on it in His Friends List, I'm going to do my Best to start focusing on MY OWN ENJOYMENT whenever I'm Online - INSTEAD of always wondering what He's been up to Online ! After all... it NEVER helps anything whenever I find He's been up to NO GOOD, because confronting Him just causes Him to be DEFENSIVE, and possibly start DENYING IT COMPLETELY as well ! PLUS, I know damn well that He's going to do WHATEVER HE WANTS TO ONLINE.... REGARDLESS OF MY FEELINGS ABOUT IT, AND COMPLETELY REGARDLESS OF THE FACT THAT HE'S " SUPPOSED TO BE " MY BF - and SHOULD BE ACTING AS SUCH, EVEN WHEN HE'S ONLINE !!!!! SO WHY BOTHER MYSELF WITH IT ALL  ??????!!!!! Just so You will understand, this is NOT to say that I'm burying My Head in the Sand like an Ostrich ! OH NO !!!!! I'll still keep in one small back corner of My Mind, the FACT that He's probably doing Things - and SAYING THINGS - He SHOULDN'T BE while He's ONLINE ! This Way... at least, WHEN AND/OR IF... the Day comes AGAIN, like it has several times in the PAST, when He ANNOUNCES TO ME that He's LEAVING ME for some SLUT He's been CHATTING WITH ONLINE, then I'll be more or less READY for it ! It won't come as a HUGE surprise ! It'll still hurt, and be a betrayal, but at least the shock factor shouldn't be there as much as IF I was totally blind to what he's been doing.WHERE does all of this Leave ME ?????? Well... I've decided to TRY a different approach for awhile. I'm going to DO MY THING whenever I'm ONLINE, and do My VERY BEST to NOT let thoughts of what He may have been doing recently ONLINE enter my Mind ! I'll have MY FUN.... and write to My FRIENDS... write in My Journals Online... Play Games Online... Chat with MY FRIENDS ONLINE... ETC.... and HOPEFULLY FOR ONCE doing this will end up MAKING HIM WONDER WHAT I'M UP TO WHILE I'M ONLINE !!!!! LOL I want HIM to wonder for a change. I want HIM to worry what I'M DOING FOR A CHANGE ! This would serve Him right, I think ! lol