destructive..

..I know it's a normal thing to try to self medicate and cope when going through rough times..But i think i may be loosing control. I've been drinking for a few weeks...and very heavily the last 4 days..straight. I feel like hell...im not eating..and to be honest i dont really care...which is the purpose of this journal maybe reading it will wake me up a bit. I've never been like this before...when i drink im ussually a very calm and relaxed drinker...we'll over the last while i've been just getting angry...Broke my phone last night -_- really stupid. I was adament about driving my not so drunk friend home...i dont even have a licence. Im lucky i got there and back. sigh...i couldent even walk but i drove...what a fucking stupid thing to do. Not for my sake....but for others. I think when i go to my doc' this week im going to mention this stuff...i think i should go to counselling.  These last 2 months have been nothing but an absolute blur....its crazy im 24..i should be living life..loving life and having a great time in my youth but im not...i feel 50...if i have to live even 25 more years this way.....noway.

Replies

NotReady2BackDown
NotReady2BackDown

Im so sorry your having a tuff time....I do think talking to someone will help. Remember no matter how hard life seems to get no one is worth risking your life over. *HUGS* take care.