DESPONDENT
Hi all,
I'm feeling despondent. I've been on new meds (natural stuff) for 6 weeks now and started off with new hope. Always thinking that one day there will be somebody that finds a new approach that will cure! But now, I am despondent. I think I have picked up a few more symptoms, so actually feeling worse. To talk is tiring, to write exhausting.... depression is setting in. :(I am so irritable, super nervous inside - I feel like I am going mad. I can't sleep at night - everything is overwhelming, the smallest things are a hassle to do. I can't get on top of anything. I am physically and mentally drained. So many frustrations - I feel so alone. I'm thinking that the more stuff you google, the more information you have - the more depressing it becomes since there doesn't seem to be anything that helps. I'm not eating gluten, no sugar - only healthy food. What is the benefit though!!!
Mind you...... I'm not confined to bed, so perhaps there is some benefit in what I'm doing. How do we know?
There is a faint light that shines in the darkness - I know that the times when I have needed strength for a specific thing, I have been given it. I know my God is with me, even though I don't always understand His ways. I'm sure this is not what he wants for us. We live in a broken world, filled with broken people and sickness and suffering. "Our present sufferings are nothing compared to what one day will be revealed to us"
I pray for you all that God will comfort you and restore health. May sleep be refreshing and healing.
With love, xxxx
I'm feeling despondent. I've been on new meds (natural stuff) for 6 weeks now and started off with new hope. Always thinking that one day there will be somebody that finds a new approach that will cure! But now, I am despondent. I think I have picked up a few more symptoms, so actually feeling worse. To talk is tiring, to write exhausting.... depression is setting in. :(I am so irritable, super nervous inside - I feel like I am going mad. I can't sleep at night - everything is overwhelming, the smallest things are a hassle to do. I can't get on top of anything. I am physically and mentally drained. So many frustrations - I feel so alone. I'm thinking that the more stuff you google, the more information you have - the more depressing it becomes since there doesn't seem to be anything that helps. I'm not eating gluten, no sugar - only healthy food. What is the benefit though!!!
Mind you...... I'm not confined to bed, so perhaps there is some benefit in what I'm doing. How do we know?
There is a faint light that shines in the darkness - I know that the times when I have needed strength for a specific thing, I have been given it. I know my God is with me, even though I don't always understand His ways. I'm sure this is not what he wants for us. We live in a broken world, filled with broken people and sickness and suffering. "Our present sufferings are nothing compared to what one day will be revealed to us"
I pray for you all that God will comfort you and restore health. May sleep be refreshing and healing.
With love, xxxx
Replies
What lovely thoughts about our God and how He is with us and has brand new bodies stored up for us!! I sure am lookin forward to that! : )
I\'m so sorry that you\'re feeling this despondency. I surely do understand it though. When we try new treatments and therapy protocols, we can only hope that it will do us some good! There are no guarantees, and to be honest, very few things considered \"medicine\" have ever helped me with my CFS!
I need rest, lots of water, sufficient salt, moving about (like walking around) some socialization, a sleep aid, and avoiding dairy to live a \"life\" that works for me. I\'m used to being housebound most of the time, but on my good days, I am now able to drive again.
It seems that as the years go by, I have gotten used to the profound fatigue and can sort of battle my way through the day. Some days I can\'t even walk well, but there are more and more days where if I push, just a little, I can do more than the first three years with this illness. It seems to keep changing it\'s behavior (CFS IS NUTZ) so that once you think you understand how you are feeling....the whole thing changes! Very frustrating.
I hear you. I understand the frustration and depression that goes along with it. I hope that being here on DS you will meet many wonderful people, as I have, who share this common bond of dealing with this horrid, unpredictable illness, and you will find consolation and encouragement!!
I hope to be a part of that for you!!
Hang in. Pray! We\'ll make it! xo
Thank you so much for your lovely words of encouragement and understanding. You are an awesome person and such an inspiration. I too look forward to having a new perfect resurrection body one day. What a pity we can\'t meet over a cup of tea.
Lots of love xxx
Hi, dear lady. I think we go through cycles of despondency. I know I used to get super excited about new remedies. Now, I\'m a bit more cautious about getting too excited too soon. There is a fragile balance between hope and acceptance. I would not be afraid to seek out a counselor during this time if you think it might help. You are trying to walk a very arduous journey, particularly as you are just getting to understand CFS. It wouldn\'t be a bad idea to have someone walking with you.
I know that God\'s ultimate design is that we would be well, but we don\'t know who will be healed on this side of Heaven. I want to believe that I will be one of the ones to be healed and that you will be among that number as well, but in the meantime, we wait. Keep your ears open. What does God want to say right now? You are a precious woman. Hold on to hope.
Thank you for your wisdom and understanding. I think God is trying to teach me patience - something I am lacking in! I think I am double despondent because I had already come to an acceptance but let in the hope again.
I think I also just miss my mom so much since she walked with me but is no longer here. I also try to carry on life normally - so create a lot of frustration for myself. After so many years I am still navigating my way. This is the first time I have looked for some kind of support, so thank you to you and the other
Beautiful ladies for being such a support.
Hope is good and necessary - I see life as a marathon race - we help each other to get to the finish line, sometimes we are weary and need much help. Other times we are strong and help others. But we are all in this together.... And now I am rather going on a bit, so I will say good night. I\'m already feeling better -
Love xxxx